#I love how you end up popular every time Ked

[obaewankenope]

This is why we love this trashfire site. Also because the void is friendly this side of the internet divide.

We've been losing power due to winter storms lately so my partner 3D printed me a tealight "to fill in for tumblr when you're offline"

anyway this should be official merch imo

[gudfornuthin]

Teenage Dirtbag

Eddie Munson x reader

She’s the most popular girl in school. And he’s just the freak. Maybe people shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

A/N: based off the song narrative of Teenage Dirtbag by Wheatus. I really loved writing this, I enjoy creating stories based off of songs. So if anyone has other music you want me to base stories on, don’t hesitate to ask! Feedback is greatly appreciated❤️

The Hellfire Club had ended their campaign earlier than expected. They were pissed, obviously, but the dungeon master had good reason to cut it short. That reason being the cheer squad practicing out on the field at the same time. He wasn’t big on school spirit and didn’t care for any form of sport. But the one thing, or person, Eddie took an interest in was the cheer captain, Y/N.

She wasn’t Eddie’s usual type. Popular, athletic, preppy. Way out of his league, obviously. But the boy couldn’t help the attraction he had towards her. Her eyes, her smile, her laugh. God, it was infectious.

Eddie walks out of the building and makes his way to the field, beelining for the bleachers. He doesn’t want to seem like a creep, but he also has a reputation to uphold. If people found out that the freak was watching cheer practice every week for an hour, he’d never live it down. He leans on his arms, peaking through the gaps and scanning the cheerleaders. He spots her in the middle, stretching her arms and leaning from side to side. She wears white tube socks and bright yellow Keds. Most couldn’t pull that off. But to Eddie, she rocks it. He wants nothing more than to tell her that, but she has no idea who he is.

“So this is why we have to cut Hellfire short?”

Eddie jumps and turns around, the sarcastic question coming from none other than Dustin Henderson. He has a shit-eating grin on his face, pleased with the older boys scared reaction.

“Henderson. You shouldn’t creep up on a guy when he’s-“

“When he’s acting like a perve.”

Eddie rolls his eyes but doesn’t reply. He knows it’s weird for him to do this. But he’d rather admire from afar then be put in his place if he so much as smiles at her. Although, she’s the problem. It’s her dick of a boyfriend. He doesn’t know much about him, only that he plays on the basketball team and lives on his block. Somewhere else he sees her frequently. Driving down the street together in his IROC, her bare legs hanging out the window. Her boyfriend also carries a gun around school. Why, Eddie couldn’t begin to imagine. He definitely doesn’t want to find out.

“You know,” Dustin pipes up, “Y/N isn’t judgemental like her friends. Or boyfriend.” Eddie chooses not to question how he knows she’s the one he’s been looking at. “She’s always been open-minded. Might be willing to get to know Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson. Maybe if you weren’t such a pussy.”

At that, Eddie goes to push the younger boy, but misses, as Dustin runs off snorting. He wishes he could believe those words. That maybe you wouldn’t look at him the way everyone else does. That you’d see past the messy hair, leather jackets and unsavoury music. But he couldn’t. because he was just that. The freak. The weirdo. The dirtbag. He huffs and walks away from the bleachers, feeling down on himself.

---

Why Eddie had agreed to take all the kids to prom, he’ll never know. But as they all pile out of the van, chatting animatedly about decorations and people’s outfits, he sits back with a cigarette in hand. He had nowhere to go, and they’d all be ready to leave in a couple hours, so there was no point leaving to have to drive back.

He waves half-heartedly at them as they walk into the gym and lights up. Eddie closes his eyes and breaths out. He hates to sit and mope, but it’s hard not to knowing everyone else is having fun. While he sits alone, waiting for a bunch of 14-year-olds. What a loser.

No soon after the kids have left, Eddie begins to grow restless. He looks at the doors, seeing the flashing lights and hearing muffled music. It couldn’t hurt to poke his head through and scope the place. No one would see him. He’s never been to the prom before, albeit due to being banned from going every year. But it had never been his seen anyways. Having to get dressed up and listen to some shitty cover band play the same three songs over and over. Eddie preferred staying home and getting high.

Either way, he hits his hands on the steering wheel, and gets out the van, flicking the cigarette butt onto the floor. Making his way into the gym, he immediately spots Dustin, along with Mike and Lucas dancing off to the side. Red faced and laughing, he can’t help but smile, glad they’re having fun. He walks further through, trying not to be seen, but standing out completely. Eddie chooses to stand at the back of the room, alongside other rejects who hope that this will be the year they get asked to dance. He crosses one leg over the other and does the same with his arms. Constantly glancing back and forth, using the time to people watch. Couples dancing. Couples arguing. A kid most definitely spiking the punch. Y/N walking over to him.

Eddie stands up straighter, eyes wide and mouth dry. She was still coming closer, a small smile on her face. This can’t be real. Maybe she’ll take a sudden turn towards the doors, or perhaps she’s going to ask him to leave. She is part of the prom committee, and he’s not exactly welcome. Even so, she continues to walk towards him, until she’s only a few feet away.

“Surprised to see you here.”

Eddie can hardly process what she’s said. “Huh?”

“I didn’t think this was your scene. I hope you’re having a good time though.”

Why is she talking to him? why is she acting as if she knows who he is? Why does she hope he’s having a good time? Those are just a few of the several thoughts running through Eddie’s mind. His lip and hands start to shake, and he’s hyper aware that she’s waiting for him to reply.

“You look really beautiful.”

He cringes. That wasn’t what he meant to say. He truly meant it though. A stunning, purple dress hugs Y/N’s figure, the lace wrapping around her collarbone. Subtle, golden makeup shines under the light. To Eddie, she looks ethereal. He’s smitten, and he’s worried he may have just blown it. Then he hears her laugh.

“You’re too sweet,” the music changes, and ‘Like a Virgin’ begins to play. She reaches out her hand, “come on, I love this song.”

Eddie’s still in shock, as the girl takes his arm and drags him to the centre of the gym, lip syncing along to the lyrics. She takes both his hands in hers and moves them back and forth. Eddie tries to keep his focus on her, not wanting to lose a second of their time together. But he can’t help to look around, nervous and on edge. Y/N leans close so he can hear her.

“He’s not here.” Eddie looks confused. “My boyfriend? We got into a huge fight earlier and he left.”

He’s unsure how to respond. He can tell she’s trying to hide the hurt, a tight-lipped smile and eyes glossy. Her boyfriend’s a dick, sure, but Eddie knows what relationships can do to a person. Though it pains him to think of her having to go through anything like that. Instead, he changes the subject.

“So you like Madonna?”

She shrugs. “Well yeah, everyone does. But I’m more into hardcore stuff,” Eddie holds his breath. “You know, bands like Metallica and Black Sabbath.”

Of course he knew what she meant. But it was still hard to process. The head cheerleader, who wore bright colours and was the embodiment of sunshine and flowers, is a metalhead. He hardly notices the song change once more to a slow melody, as she rests her arms atop his shoulders, and his wrap instinctively around her waist.

“Actually, now that I mention it. Iron Maiden are doing a show this Friday. I’ve got two tickets and no one to go with. I was wondering if you-“

“Yes.”

Y/N is taken aback once more by Eddie’s abrupt response but smiles none the less. He shakes his head, a blush forming on his cheeks.

“I mean,” he clears his throat, “I’ll have to check my schedule because you know, I’m a busy guy,” a complete untruth, “but yeah, that’d be really cool.”

She smiles wider and looks down at Eddie’s lips. She looks into his eyes, asking for permission, to which he nods. The pair lean in, eyes closing.

“Eddie,” she whispers.

“yeah?”

“Eddie, wake up.”

He opens his eyes slightly, seeing you staring back at him.

“What?”

“Eddie, you need to wake up now.”

---

He gasps and sits up straight, finding himself in bed. He looks around and sees his uncle looking over him, dressed in work clothes. “You overslept again. Can’t keep missing school if you wanna finally graduate.” He shakes his head and walks out, leaving Eddie alone, replaying the vivid dream over and over.

--------------------------

[incorrect-julie-and-the-phantoms]

Jealous Luke+famous Julie (they’re both together now)

Hi there! Thank you so much for the prompt. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope that this is what you meant when you sent the ask. You can read the fic under the cut or you can click on the link here to read it on AO3. Enjoy!

Green Eyes and Fame

Pairings:  Luke/Julie, Alex/Willie

Tags: Fluff, angst, jealousy, miscommunication

Five years since the band first made a splash, Julie and the Phantoms was one of the most popular bands in America. As the lead singer of the band Julie was the most well known and, thanks to her sweet disposition and how she went out of her way for her fans, everyone adored her. People just liked her, romantically as well as platonically. As her boyfriend of three years though, Luke kind of wished people would stop flirting with her in front of him.

Also known as the five times Luke was jealous because of people flirting with Julie, and one time he realized there was never a need to be. 

1 - The Number 1 Fan

Luke was really glad in moments like these that the band wasn’t required to do meet and greets. He loved playing for people and he loved meeting people who were genuinely touched by his music, but after performing for two hours in the hot stage lights for the third time that week, he was pretty wiped out. 

Management did require Julie to do these meet and greets once a week after a show though, what with being the lead singer and the name brand. Despite how she was just as physically drained as he was under the surface, and despite being at this for over two hours, Julie still greeted each fan with unending enthusiasm and her signature toothy smile. 

He was meant to be there to keep her company, but found himself staring at her in fond amusement as she started admiring the little girl wearing Julie and the Phantoms keds. “My daddy got them for my birthday last week!” The girl beamed at her dad who was standing slightly to the side so his daughter could have her moment. 

“They look super cool,” Julie said in an impressed tone, “and happy belated birthday.” 

“Can you sign them?” The girl bounced up and down in excitement. “Please, please, please, please please-”

“Easy there,” Julie laughed, “I can't sign them with you jumping around like that.” 

The little girl looked like she was gonna pass out from happiness as she hurried to pull off the sneakers. “Thank you Julie!”

A minute later, the little girl was sporting some autographed keds and a picture of her and her icon on her dad's phone. The man politely shook Julie’s hand before leading his daughter out of the room. 

“I love you Julie!” The girl shouted behind her as she walked out.

“That girl was so adorable,” Julie gushed once she was gone. 

“You think every little kid is adorable,” Luke reminded her. 

“That’s because they are.”

Luke laughed good-naturedly at his girlfriend’s defensiveness over literally every child on the planet. She wasn’t wrong, kids were adorable. Especially when they were bouncing around in excitement over meeting their idol. Luke had helped her babysit her brother when they were in high school though, so he knew exactly how much of a pest they could be. 

Luke pulled out his phone to scroll through Instagram as the next fan in the line up walked into the room. Luke only glanced at her briefly to see it was an older girl, probably around their age. He liked a picture of Alex, Flynn, and Reggie at an after-party and kept scrolling. 

“Hey there,” Julie smiled at the girl as she approached, “what’s your name?” She held out her hand which the other girl took for a handshake. 

“Lucille, but you can call me Lucy” the girl replied in a tone that sounded a little flirtatious. Luke raised an eyebrow and looked up, certain he had imagined it. He noted that the girl was holding the handshake just a little too long.

Julie just smiled back unaware, “nice to meet you Lucy. Did you enjoy the show?”

“I could watch you perform all day,” Lucy smiled back widely. Luke barely stopped his frown, definitely flirting. 

As subtle as he could, which wasn’t very, Luke began to take her in fully for the first time. She was kind of pretty, tall with dark skin and almond eyes, hair pulled into a ponytail that showed off the buzzed underneath. Her nose was pierced and she was sporting a pair of cuffed jeans. 

“I’ll take that to mean a yes,” Julie laughed warmly. “Well I’m glad you enjoyed it. And that you found the time to come for the meet and greet. You got a camera for the picture?”

Lucy pulled out a handheld camera and handed it to the photographer. “I was actually hoping we could do a pose?”

“Sure,” Julie smiled, “whatcha have in mind?”

“It involves your friend, if he doesn’t mind.” Lucy gestured over to Luke who startled in surprise at being addressed. 

Julie looked over uncertainly. “I’m not sure-“

“I’m happy to join in,” Luke interrupted her. Anything to get between those flirty eyes and his very hot girlfriend. 

Lucy smiled widely, “awesome! My idea was to have the hot guy look all jealous while I pretend to propose.”

Luke struggled to not glare at the girl. Choosing to keep an easy smile on his face and laugh. “Well I feel like anybody would be jealous of the person with Julie.”

He walked over to stand in front of the two while Lucy dropped to one knee. The jealous glare on his face was a little too easy for him to make as his girlfriend pretended to gasp in excitement. The camera flash finally went off and Julie hugged the girl goodbye. “It was nice to meet you,” she said brightly. 

Lucy smiled back and handed her a piece of paper. “my number, in case you miss me.” At that she turned around strutted out of the room. 

Once she was gone Julie turned to Luke, holding the paper between her thumb and pointer. “She was so sweet, it was nice of her to ask to hang out.”

Luke raised an eyebrow, “babe, you know she was flirting with you right?”

Julie’s eyes widened, obviously unaware of the fact. “Oh! I had no idea.” 

Luke laughed. “I can’t believe you didn’t notice. Babe she proposed to you.”

“Shut up,” Julie blushed in embarrassment, “I can’t believe she didn’t recognize you as my boyfriend.”

“Trust me, she probably barely even noticed me there,” Luke kept the possessiveness out of his tone as he said it. Instead he batted his eyelashes and made a dramatic kissy face. “Oh, Julie,” he tried to mimic Lucy’s flirty tone, “I could watch you perform all day.”

Julie groaned and playfully shoved his shoulder. “I hate you so much.” 

Once she turned to face the next person, Luke took the piece of paper with Lucy’s number on it to throw away. Feigning surprise when Julie told him she lost it with a confused look on her face.

2 - The Cute Barista

A couple weeks after the incident, the two were visiting their hometown for Julie’s father’s birthday. Before making their way to the house Julie dragged Luke to a hole in the wall cafe for breakfast.

“I don’t remember this being here in high school,” Luke mused.

“It’s new. I heard about it from an uh… Friend?” Julie’s smile was a little bit too innocent. Luke mentally prepared himself for whatever mischief she had planned, letting her lead him into the cafe. He was greeted with the intoxicating aroma of roasted coffee grounds and cinnamon pastries blended together and the din of people laughing, enjoying their drinks. 

Luke went to the counter to place his order while Julie left to find a booth for them to sit in. He made a double-take as he recognized the barista.

“No way, Carrie?” 

The girl’s eyes widened in surprise at the sight of him, mouth spreading into a wide smile. “No way.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked.

“I got the job for the summer while I’m not in school. If I had known they really let just anybody walk in here I wouldn’t have taken the job though,” Carrie teased him.

Luke laughed. “I remember Julie’s creative manager saying something similar when I signed on to be her guitarist.”

Carrie swatted his arm over the counter. “Shut up, we both know it wouldn’t be the Phantoms without you.”

He shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t nearly fistfight the manager when we first met. Anyways, how’s school?”

The other girl rolled her head to the side, a soft crack emitting as she cracked her neck. “Honestly? Amazing. I’m so glad I just decided to stick with the dancing side of performance, the whole singing and ‘dirty candy’ thing was kind of just cause I thought it was cool.”

“You’re cool though,” Luke insisted, “and I know that Julie is just waiting for you to graduate so she can snag you as a background dancer. She really misses you.” He paused for a moment. “Thinking about it now that’s probably why she dragged me here.”

Carrie blushed at the compliment and waved him off. “She knows that I want to make it on my own first, not ride on my friend’s coattails.” Still slightly pink, she gestured to nothing in particular, “what can I get for you in the meantime?” 

Luke rattled off his order which she deftly took down. She then began to make his drinks and put his pastries in the oven simultaneously. Luke listened politely to her chatter about her different classes at CalArts as she worked, only interrupting to ask questions when she started talking in technical terms that he had no clue about.

If somebody had told Luke in high school that one day he would be having a conversation like this with Carrie of all people he would have said they were crazy. The girl had been a constant negative towards Julie up until their junior year, always trying to belittle her or one-up her with her own band. 

One day though, Julie had decided she was through with being passively polite to Carrie as Flynn defended her. So, Julie made Luke drive her to Carrie's house in the middle of the night to verbally berate her to submission and hopefully get Carrie to back off.

The conversation had taken a different turn though. 

It turned out Carrie was mad at Julie because Julie had completely shut her out when her mom died at the end of eighth grade and started ignoring her for Flynn. Then, when Julie started to be better and more like herself, she had ruined Carrie’s big premiere performance that she had spent months working on by showing her up with a last-minute song. 

That hadn’t excused her being a bully, but after a lot of crying and apologizing on both ends, the girls were soon best friends again, this time with Flynn. 

When Flynn and Carrie had first spoken to each other after the argument with Julie, they had gotten on like a house on fire. Reggie, Alex, and Luke had been equally surprised that they were able to get along at all after three years of fighting and horrified of what the two of them accomplished when they worked as a team to roast them. 

It had been even more surprising when Reggie and Luke caught the two of them in a janitor’s closet at school, but that was a story for another time.

Despite constantly teasing him, she had turned out to be surprisingly cool without her ‘mean girl’ persona. She loudly called out people who were homophobic to Alex and verbally eviscerated people who made fun of Reggie. After she turned Dirty Candy from a pop group to a dancing group, she had let Alex join and would hang out with him until late teaching him. She also helped tutor Reggie in math when his ADHD had made it hard for him to focus, patiently explaining quadratics and Algebra.

In Luke’s eyes, anybody who was good to his friends was good to him. So, naturally, Carrie grew on him quickly. 

As she finished making his drinks, Luke looked around the cafe for Julie. Despite how small it was, there was a surprising amount of people there, filling the atmosphere with laughter and idle chit chat. He kind of wish it had existed while they were in high school, it would have been a great place to hang out.

He finally found her sitting in a booth by the window, freezing once he noticed that she wasn’t alone. There was a guy there wearing a barista uniform, admittedly handsome, who was braced on the edge of the table in a way that was obviously meant to show off his arms. His pose was suggestive, leaning slightly towards Jullie.

As Julie laughed at something the man said, a familiar curl of jealousy wrapped around Luke’s gut. He glared down the man’s head, wondering if it was possible to kill somebody from this distance with his mind.

“Easy there,” Carrie interrupted his thoughts. Luke startled and turned back to face her, surprised to see she had finished making his order without him noticing. “What’s got you so angry?”

“Nothing,” Luke mumbled unconvincingly. Carrie looked over in the direction he had been staring in and smiled in a way that Luke meant trouble. 

“Wow,” she said in feigned surprise, “I didn’t know that Jesús and Julie knew each other.”

“Jesús?” Luke asked. He knew he was being obvious but he had always been bad at subtlety.

Carrie’s smile was predatory, knowing she had caught him. Her face smoothed out innocently and waved her hand dismissively. “He’s nobody, just a new hire. His family recently immigrated from Spain so he’s still got the accent, has a habit of making nearly every girl here, and quite a few guys, swoon.”

Luke clenched his jaw and glared across the room at the man again. Turning back around, he paid for his food and slipped an extra hundred dollar bill into her tip jar. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice until they were gone. 

Right before walking away though, he turned back to Carrie. “Hey I might need your help later, Ray is going to give me…” Luke trailed off, eyes flicking back to his girlfriend, “a family heirloom. He told me about a shop to get it altered but I don’t want to go alone.”

Carrie’s eyes widened in understanding. “Are you-?” Luke nodded, smiling bashfully. The girl beamed, “you bet your ass I want to go with you.”

“Thanks Carrie,” he smiled at his friend as he grabbed the drinks and pastries, “it was nice to see you.”

Carrie grinned widely. “You too man, pick me up tomorrow. I’ll come up with some excuse so Julie isn’t suspicious.” After she finished speaking she turned to the next customer in line to take their order.

Forcing the glare off his face into an easy grin, Luke made his way over to his girlfriend. 

“Hey babe,” he said a little too loudly, startling the other man. Luke felt a curl of dark satisfaction as Jesús jumped a little in surprise. “I got one large black coffee with cinnamon for you, you sadistic weirdo, two lemon blueberry scones, and a salted caramel iced mocha, for me of course.”

Julie rolled her eyes as she took the coffee from the tray, “liking black coffee isn’t weird you know.”

“Plain black coffee is something that only people who hate themselves, are on a diet, or psychopaths enjoy.”

“It’s not plain,” Julie reminded him, “it has cinnamon.”

“The only reason I haven’t called a psych consult and you know it.”

Julie laughed and took a sip of the coffee, “you never know. I could be a psychopath.”

“Or a high functioning sociopath, if you do your research.” Luke grinned as Julie laughed at the reference. He loved watching her when she laughed, leaning back in a way that showed off the endearing gap in her two front teeth as her entire body shook with the force of her laughter. On rare occasions she would even snort, if the joke was funny enough.

Luke slid into the booth next to her and linked their fingers together while she laughed. Once she stopped laughing she gestured towards Jesús with the hand still holding the coffee. 

“Luke this is Jesús. Jesús, this is my boyfriend Luke.”

Luke felt warm all over, being introduced as Julie’s boyfriend. Even after dating for three years it still made him happy. “Nice to meet you man.” He held out the hand not entwined with Julie’s for a handshake.

“Likewise,” the man responded. Luke felt a flash of surprise at the lack of accent.

“Jesús and his sister were adopted by...” Julie trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as she did some math in her head.

“Your mom’s second cousin,” Jesús finished her sentence. “moved down here from San Francisco. I’m starting at Caltech once the summer’s over.”

“That’s neat.” Luke tried to not be embarrassed over being jealous and thinking Julie was flirting with family. “Whatcha studying?”

“Double major in mechanical and electrical engineering,” he said proudly.

“Jesús was just telling me he wanted to be a robot engineer so he could build Norm from Phineas and Ferb,” Julie said as she took a sip of her coffee.

Jesús grinned. “You laugh, but that man shaped my childhood.” Carrie shouted for Jesús as a crowd of teenagers walked in, loudly messing around and joking. He grimaced, “looks like Carrie needs some backup. It was nice to meet you though Julie, and you Luke.”

“See you at the party later!” Julie called after him as he walked away. 

“I didn’t know you had other family in LA,” Luke mused. He took a sip of the mocha, pleasantly surprised at how great of a job Carrie had done on it. 

“Neither did I,” Julie confessed, “when my aunt heard I was in town she told me about him though and said to keep a lookout.”

“Is that why we came here?” Luke asked, snagging a bite of his scone.

“Nah, I just heard Carrie was here and wanted to see the horror on your face once you realized I brought you here for a dark roast and a Carrie roast.”

He choked on his scone. “That was a horrible pun, and a horrible thing to do.”

“Pun still made you laugh though,” Julie said with a smug smile.

Luke glared at her for a minute before turning back to his scone, sulking. “Just shut up and eat so we can go to your dad’s house.” 

He tried his best to stay annoyed with her. When she leaned over and kissed his temple in apology though, his resolve shattered and he couldn’t help the pleased grin that spread across his face. Wow am I whipped, he thought to himself, but for the life of him he couldn’t find any problem with that fact.

3 - The ‘Nice Guy’

A month later, Luke had to miss a scheduled practice session with the band for the first time ever. 

The only reason he was missing in the first place was because of Bobby. The man had finally gotten back to him about a favor he needed, saying he was happy to help. However apparently there was only one opening at his recording studio for the next six months, something about the starlet booked being sent back to rehab? Six months was too long for Luke to wait though, and he was already in NYC. So, he told Bobby he would be there.

He knew that, even without telling them his reason, the band would all be fine with him missing. But even with Julie insisting that it was completely fine, Luke still felt like a horrible person that they would have to cancel practice because of him. 

The guilt gnawed on his chest until Reggie and Alex told him they were still going to practice as scheduled. Apparently, they had asked one of the backup guitarists to cover for him. Some guy named Billy?

“If you ask me,” Alex confessed to Luke while they were telling him, “I only asked him cause the dude really needs the practice. He’s literally paid to know all the songs in case you need time off and to play back up. But at the last concert, he was right next to me, and the dude couldn’t even keep up with ‘Bright,’ for longer than a couple seconds. The rest of the songs ” 

Luke raised an eyebrow, “that song is like, four chords. If he can’t do it then why did management hire him?”

“Do we all have backups for our time off?” Reggie piped up.

“Yeah, mine is some named Owen, seems pretty nice. I’m surprised you guys didn’t know about yours. Jeremy is a pretty funny guy, way more level headed than you.”

“You sayin I’m not level headed?” Reggie said defensively.

“I met Jeremy,” Luke said in surprise. “I’ve seen him around everywhere but I didn’t know he was the backup bassist. Did you know he does voice acting?”

“My backup does voice acting?” Reggie flipped from defensive to excited in a moment.

“Anyways,” Alex got them back on topic, “Billy’s only your backup because his dad is the head of Covington Entertainment. Dude could ruin us if we don’t let his son have the job.”

“On that note, I will be sucking up to him,” Reggie said nervously, “quite a bit.”

After that Luke had felt a little bit better about skipping. He left for the studio a couple minutes later, after saying goodbye to Julie of course.

Bobby himself was the one who sat in the recording booth for Luke’s session. “You think I would let just any old person produce your music? You’re family, and family looks after each other.” 

The whole thing didn’t last more than half an hour. It had been fun at first, messing with the different equipment and such that was usually off-limits. Without the band though, and he found it a little bit boring after a while. At the very least, this was a confirmation that a solo career was not for him. After Bobby called it a night he promised he would send over the demo once he was done editing it.

Luke thanked him a hundred times before running off to his car. Based on his watch, there was still an hour left to rehearsal. If he was careful and took the highway he could get there on time for a least a solid forty-five minutes of practice.

There was no music coming out of the studio as he arrived, probably meaning the band was taking a break. He was passing by the bathroom when there was the sound of an unfamiliar voice. Luke was going to keep walking until he heard something that caught his attention.

“-think I might actually have a chance with Julie, man.” Luke froze at the excited words, wondering if the person was talking about his Julie. He couldn’t hear whoever the man was talking to so he assumed it was a phone call. As quietly as he could, he inched closer to the bathroom door so he could eavesdrop. 

“I’m not crazy,” the man said defensively, “the band personally asked me to cover for their guitarist while he’s off doing god knows what. We’ve been practicing together for a couple hours now and the guys love me.” A laugh. “Alex is exactly as much of a Mary Sue as all the magazines said and Reggie is the biggest dolt on the planet though so it really wasn’t too hard.” 

Luke felt his teeth grind together. The Mary Sue thing was something that he knew bothered Alex. His friend was polite to everyone he didn’t know, even those who were rude to him, and tended to be a people pleaser. If the magazines ever had to deal with Alex when he was tired or stressed, they wouldn’t be so quick to call him a Mary Sue. 

And Reggie wasn’t dumb. Anybody who bothered to get to know Reggie figured out pretty quickly that he only needed to be told things multiple times because his ADHD affected his short term memory and made it hard to focus when people were speaking to him. And despite what people thought, Reggie was a little shy. So, being around new people made him a little nervous which made his hyperactivity worse. So random outbursts, fidgeting, or rambling made him seem ‘spazzy’ and outgoing.

Luke was about to burst in and give this guy a piece of his mind. Yell at him about how Alex was actually a grumpy dumbass and Reggie was not a dolt, but stopped himself once the guy spoke again. 

“I know that doesn’t mean Julie likes me. I’m not stupid. I know Julie likes me cause she keeps watching me while she sings and stuff. The chemistry is practically tangible dude. Trust me when I say that she wants a piece of Billy.” 

Jealousy began to pool in Luke’s gut. Usually Julie sang to him, not whoever this wannabe was. Now that he thought about it, when was the last time Julie and him got so into a song that she kissed him at the end? When was the last time they went on a date? When was the last time they even kissed period?

She literally kissed you before you left for the recording studio idiot, his brain reminded him.

The voice was silent as the guy listened to whatever the person on the other end of the line said. He made an offended noise. “It’s not weird to talk in third person, it shows confidence. And why would I make up practicing with the Phantoms?” So this was the Billy Alex told him about, interesting. 

There was another beat of silence, longer this time. “I’m not being delusional, you and I both know I would be amazing for her. I’m only here because her crappy boyfriend bailed on the band and I was man enough to step up and help. Once Julie stops being a stupid bitch and realizes I’m an actually nice guy- ” 

Luke felt the jealousy and possessiveness burn into anger, slamming the bathroom door open before the guy could finish his sentence. As he took in the guy he noted that, other than being tall, he was kind of unimpressive. Especially when he looked like he was about to shit his pants at the sight of Luke.

“Hey Billy,” Luke said icily, “I’m the shitty boyfriend, nice to meet you.”

Billy blanched. “I can explain-”

“I heard enough,” Luke practically growled, cutting the guy off. “I can understand saying that Julie is amazing since it is super obvious to literally even the stupidest people. I can understand wanting to treat her right. Hell, I can even forgive you thinking that I’m the biggest piece of garbage ever.”

As Luke spoke he stalked closer to the man in front of him, watching as Billy stepped back nervously to avoid him. He kept walking forward, herding the man until his back was pressed against the wall. He stepped closer still, until he was practically in the man’s face. Despite being nearly a head taller, Billy still cowered like Luke was twice his size.

“Do you know one thing I will not tolerate though?” Luke asked as he plucked the phone from Billy’s hand and hung up on the man on the other end of the line.

“N-no?” The man squeaked.

“I will not tolerate anybody calling my girlfriend, or any girl for that matter, ‘a stupid bitch’ just because she doesn’t want to get with them. And I certainly won’t tolerate you making fun of my best friends.” Luke’s voice sounded dangerous to his own voice, despite being at a quiet, even tone. “You feel me, nice guy?”

 “I’m sorry man, I wasn’t thinking.”

“You’re right,” Luke agreed, “you weren’t thinking, and I’m not even slightly finished with your dumb ass.” He stepped back just an inch, crossing his arms to prevent himself from throttling the guy in front of him. There was a nagging voice that sounded suspiciously like Alex in the back of his head telling him that this was a bad idea.

“I wasn’t gonna say anything cause I’m not one to rain on your parade, but you really pissed me off. First of all, since you are apparently unaware, it’s literally your job to cover for me when I can’t be there. There was no ‘being man enough’ idiot when it’s in your job description.”

“It’s not my job to go to practice, the team asked me personally-” Billy protested.

“That brings me to the ‘second of all.’ The guys only ‘personally’ asked you to practice cause you can’t even play the most basic songs, and rather than letting you embarrass yourself, they were trying to be nice and help you. Cause unlike you, they are actually nice guys. And what you,” Luke jabbed his finger into his sternum, “did to thank them is turn around and talk bad about him to your friend the second they were gone.” 

I didn’t mean any of it man. It just slipped out on accident.” Billy looked like he was about to cry, which was not a good look on him. The only reason Luke didn’t feel bad is that Billy looked like a petulant child who was only upset at being caught doing the bad thing and not remorseful because he did it in the first place. 

Taking a deep breath, Luke stepped back from Billy before doing something stupid, like punching the son of the guy who owned Luke’s career. He stared up at the sky, tapping his chin as he pretended to think. “Say, I just had a great idea. Wanna hear it?” 

Terrified, Billy nodded.

“Since I’m such a nice guy, I’m gonna do you a favor.” Luke practically growled at the man “Since your not thinking led to you ‘accidentally’ trying to degrade my girlfriend and talking smack about my friends, I’ll do your thinking for you for the rest of the night. Just so you don’t slip up again, understand?” 

Billy opened his mouth to reply. However, even though he phrased it as a question, Luke didn’t actually care about his answer. So, he just kept talking before the man could speak.

“So, I’m thinking that, since you just feel so bad about all of this, that once we walk out of this bathroom we pretend we never had this conversation okay? But when we go back to the studio you are going to be unbelievably polite and nice to Reggie and Alex. Then you are going to work your hardest for the rest of practice until you have a basic grasp of every song. Then you are going to leave.”

“Can I at least talk to Julie?” Billy asked hopefully.

A wave of anger rose up in Luke. “You aren’t gonna speak to her unless she speaks to you.” Billy sagged in disappointment, nodding to show his agreement. 

Satisfied, Luke backed up so that he was no longer cornering the taller boy to the wall. He felt Billy’s eyes on his back as he turned on his heel, marching out of the bathroom. 

As he opened the door to the studio, Julie, Alex, and Reggie were sitting in the center laughing about something. The three of them looked up at the sound of the door, eyes widening in surprise. 

“Didn’t expect to see you here man!” Alex smiled at him.

“Dude, do you know how weird it is to practice without you? I felt like I was in the twilight zone.” Reggie laughed at his own joke.

Julie walked over and placed a kiss on his cheek, rolling her eyes at Reggie’s joke. “Billy’s in the bathroom but he should be back any minute so you can meet him. He’s a nice guy, you’ll like him.”

Another irrational stab of jealousy pierced through Luke. “Great,” he answered her. His friends must have noticed the irritation in his tone because their smiles dimmed down.

“You okay?” Julie asked, a concerned frown on her face. He opened his mouth, ready to brush it off and pretend nothing had happened, as Billy walked into the room. He was all swagger now, a contrast to the boy Luke left in the bathroom who looked like he was going to pee himself.

“Hey guys,” Billy smiled. Luke didn’t miss the way his eyes passed over Julie and stayed just a moment too long.

Another stab of jealousy. “Just met this really rude guy today. You wouldn’t believe the things that came out of his mouth.” Billy froze, a flash of panic over his eyes that Luke only caught because he was looking for it. “It’s not that important though,” he continued, watching as Billy relaxed again. “I might tell you later if I don’t forget by then.” 

“How about we get back to practice?” Billy suggested nervously. “Any chance you can help me learn Luke?” This time when he looked up at Luke he pointedly avoided eye contact with Julie.

Luke felt another pang of guilt in his stomach. He knew he was being an ass, but he really didn’t like this guy. Trying out a genuine smile for a peace offering, Luke went over to his guitar mounted on the wall. “Let’s play.”

4 - The Old Fling

The day after Luke accidentally put the fear of God into him, Billy quit the band to go work for his dad’s company. Luke felt kind of bad for him, but to be fair he was wholly unqualified. Even with Luke painstakingly showing him each cord he still couldn’t get it. The new guy they hired for his backup guitarist was named Charlie, who he liked infinitely better because he never flirted with Julie.

After Billy went home, Luke ended up telling everyone about the incident in the bathroom. Julie had gotten annoyed with him for defending her honor like she was some helpless maiden, but she seemed glad about him defending Alex and Reggie. The two guys had just shrugged and said he was really annoying anyway.

As an ‘apology’ to Julie for defending her honor without asking, Luke took Julie out to Coney Island for a date. He was pretty Julie just wanted an excuse to go there but Luke didn’t complain, any time spent with Julie was a good time.

The trip started out great. They went on the ferris wheel, visited some candy shop Julie had heard about, and rode the cyclone. It was hot there in late August and there were countless people on the beach. Julie closed her eyes and looked up every once in awhile, basking in the sun.

“You’re like a cat,” Luke teased her.

“Cats do nothing but eat, sleep, poop, and play all the time and are called cute even if they are little devils to their owners,” Julie replied without opening her eyes, “sounds like the kind of life most people would be jealous of.”

“Cats also lick their own buttholes,” he reminded her.

A shrug. “Well we can’t all be perfect.” Julie looked down from the sun and grabbed her water bottle from Luke’s backpack. 

“Yeah, but I still think I’m gonna pass. I would have to stop eating taco bell, which is definitely a dealbreaker.” Great, now he wanted tacos.

Julie rolled her eyes at his bad joke, opening the bottle to take a sip. “Even still,” she said, “with all the team meetings, songwriting, and late-night concerts I’ve barely been able to enjoy the sun. I’m either sleeping or stuck inside.” Her shoulders slumped a little. 

Luke pulled her into a hug and kissed her forehead comfortingly. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely, tucking her under his chin.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Julie said, voice muffled against his chest, “I love what I’m doing, and I love that I get to do it with you. I just wish that they didn’t make a meeting to decide if they wanted to make the ‘and’ in Julie and the Phantoms into that weird eight symbol.”

“Well obviously it was life or death,” Luke said in a grave tone, “can you imagine the outrage if we changed something that literally nobody would notice?”

Julie giggled, “I imagine it would be the same level of rage if we made the ‘J’ in merchandising a little larger.”

“Well that would just be unforgivable,” Luke said in mock horror.

His girlfriend laughed and hugged him back tighter. A familiar warmth spread throughout his core and his brain felt like it was saturated in happy hormones. He smiled and tucked his head in her neck. Luke let out a grumble of complaint once she finally pulled away, trying to pull her back into the hug.

“Luke, you’re cute and all but it's hot out.”

“Oh that? It’s just my burning desire for you.” Luke grinned as Julie groaned at his corny joke.

“I changed my mind,” Julie took a step back as she spoke. “I don’t think you’re cute and I actually hate you.” There was no malice in her tone though, and her exasperated smile was still fond.

“Nobody’s perfect,” Luke parroted back to her, inevitably bringing tacos to mind again. His stomach churned in anticipation.

Julie started laughing again, another one of those full-body laughs that showed off her toothy smile. “God you’re so…” Julie trailed off as she saw something behind him, eyes widening.

“I’m so what?” Luke pressed. He glanced behind him to try and see what caught her eye, heart dropping once he saw it. ‘It’ being Nick, Julie’s boyfriend from when they first started playing together and became friends. All distracting thoughts of tacos left his mind.

“Nick!” Julie called out, running towards the blonde man. He had grown up since Luke had seen him last, literally. Nick was definitely a couple inches taller than him, which  Luke stubbornly refused to acknowledge bothered him. His baby face was gone and he had five o’clock shadow.

Nick caught Julie as she ran to him and twirled her in a hug. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were in town,” he said in a pleasantly surprised tone as he lowered her, hands still on her hips. He looked up as Luke made his way over, giving him a polite smile.

“Hey Nick,” Luke waved. His eyes flickered down towards Nick’s hands still on Julie’s waist, trying to stifle his possessiveness. Julie was her own person and it wasn’t her fault that he was still jealous of Nick.

The blonde didn’t seem to notice, amazingly observant as ever. Thankfully, he still moved his hands. “Man, it's weird to see you guys outside of a magazine tabloid or a video call. How long has it been? A year?”

“Three,” Julie corrected him, “either that or I managed to skip to junior year of college alarmingly fast.”

Nick’s eyes widened, “it’s already been three years since high school?” He looked like he was about to have an existential crisis.

“And yet Luke is still a child,” Julie joked.

“Hey,” Luke complained.

“We’re actually about to get some tacos if you want to join us.”

“We are?” He turned to Julie excitedly, immediately forgetting why he was offended.

“Yeah, I know you. The second you bring up tacos you’re basically impossible to distract.”

Except for the blonde idiot I had to watch you obsess over for two years. It then processed that she had invited said blonde idiot to join them for tacos. Jealousy and hunger conflicted in his mind. Great, now Nick ruined tacos.

The blonde chuckled in amusement. “I would love to but I'm here with my mom. She’s not gonna last another five minutes without asking me to take her back to my apartment, let alone going out to eat.” Julie pouted at that, and  Luke couldn’t tell if he was more annoyed at the disappointment in Julie’s face or at Nick for disappointing her. 

“Well you have to tell your mom I said hi,” Julie ordered him. 

“Of course, my mom adores you,” Nick said sincerely. Out of the corner of his eye, Luke saw a familiar flash. Turning to look he saw a small group of paparazzi starting to form. Julie and Nick were completely unaware though.

“Jules,” Luke reached out to tap her arm for attention, to warn her. 

It was too late though. Julie propped herself up on her toes to plant a friendly kiss on Nick’s cheek. Luke couldn’t help the spike of jealousy in the pit of his stomach as he saw her lean over, feeling the frown on his face before he could stop it.

The paparazzi went nuts, cameras flashing like strobe lights as they tried to catch a picture of the scene. Julie turned in surprise as they surged forward and started hounding her with questions.

“Are the rumors of your split with Luke true?”

“Is this man your new boyfriend.”

“What’s your opinion your gay drummer.”

“Is it true that you had an illegitimate love child when you were sixteen.”

Julie’s eyes widened, frozen at the onslaught. Luke reached out his hand and yanked her free of the crowd. The paparazzi had drawn a lot of attention, causing a crowd to gather to see what they were going nuts over. 

“It’s Julie Molina!” Somebody shouted from the crowd. A bunch of people started murmuring in agreement, pulling out their phones. Luke cursed, their cover was blown. So much for a day without work.

Luke began to lead Julie away from the crowd at a hurried pace, making sure to wave and smile as he walked by them. Julie had recovered from her initial shock and joined him in their smile and wave.

Finally they made it to their car, breathless from exertion. The car was quiet, save for the sound of their labored breathing, until Julie broke the silence with a burst of laughter. Luke looked over at her in bewilderment, certain she had cracked from stress. She looked over at him and whatever she saw only made her double over harder, snorting between laughs.

“Are you okay?” He asked in concern.

“I’m, I-I’m just.” Julie struggled to catch her breath so she could form her sentence. “I’m just imagining the tabloid covers tomorrow. Poor Nick’s mom is going to think we’re a thing again.” Luke’s eyes widened in horror at her realization. Julie just started laughing again, “oh my god PR is going to kill us.”

“We’re so screwed.” Luke agreed.

The next day, the headlines showed Julie kissing Nick’s cheek while Luke stood to the side with a pained grimace.

“Sweetheart or Heartbreaker? : Popstar Julie Molina flaunts new relationship in front of ex-beau Patterson. Does this mean the end of Julie and the Phantoms?” Read all about it on page 3.”

5 - The daredevil

“I couldn’t have planned it better if I tried,” the PR representative declared as she beamed at the photo like Christmas had come early. “There’s nothing like a scandal to catch media attention, and ultimately what people think you did was unproblematic enough that people have no reason to ‘cancel’ you.” She looked up at the two of them pensively, “did I use that word right? My middle-schooler taught me it the other day.” 

“You used it fine?” Julie glanced at Luke in confusion which he returned with a shrug to convey he was equally lost. He wasn’t sure what to say here. They had been prepared for a lecture, to get chewed out. Not whatever this was.

“So just checking, you aren’t mad about us accidentally causing drama?” Julie sounded skeptical. 

The woman scoffed "Are you kidding me? Management is over the moon with your band’s popularity ranking. Sales for their latest album went up by 15% in middle aged women and 3% in college students. You’re even on the Billboard top 100 music charts now.”

The woman’s eyes widened. “Oh honey no of course not. Frankly it's a miracle you made it as long as you had without appearing on the front page of some crappy gossip magazine. This scandal was so mild that it probably helped you. Honestly you just show up a couple times acting like a happy couple and the bad part will be gone, leaving you with all the juicy benefits.”

“Wha…” Julie gaped at the woman like a fish, expression bewildered. If Luke looked hard enough he swore he could see the error message as her brain tried to process being freaked out for nothing. Luke reached out and linked their fingers together, squeezing her hand reassuringly. 

“We aren’t in trouble Julie,” he translated for her. 

“We aren’t in trouble?” Julie repeated skeptically.

“Look,” the woman leaned forward. “Your brand is defined by keeping your nose clean, not getting involved in anything controversial, being politically correct, and staying appropriate for all ages. All you did was make yourself a little messy, bored housewives and angsty teenagers like messy. And a little messy can also lead to good more messy.”

“Oh,” Julie nodded in understanding. She leaned over to Luke and whispered in his ear, “can you translate?”

“You were a perfect person, now you’re human, and something messy?”

“That’s so stupid,” she hissed, “I’m not perfect at all.” 

“I didn’t say I agreed with her,” he retorted. 

“Oh, so you don’t think I’m perfect?”

Luke felt the blood drain from his face. “Hold up-”

“And don’t even get me STARTED on Luke,” the woman interrupted him, “nothing is hotter than a heartbroken man.” 

“Julie is,” Luke said defensively. Julie blushed and kicked his shin under the table. She still had a pleased smile on his face though, so he figured he was forgiven for earlier. 

“Well not everybody is you,” the PR rep reminded him. “People want more of you now, and I have to say this is the perfect opportunity for you to start your solo career. Bobby sent over your rough demo to the big boss and is ready to make a team for you, just say the word.”

“I don’t want to release it now though,” Luke argued, ignoring the quizzical look Julie sent his way. With the argument with Billy, seeing Nick, and freaking out about them getting in trouble Luke had been too distracted to talk to her about it. The three days since recording the demo felt like an eternity ago now.  

“Well obviously not now, the demo song isn’t fully edited yet.” The woman rolled her eyes like ‘duh.’ “We want you to announce it on the red carpet when you go to the premiere of The Other Side of Hollywood next week.” 

Luke sat in quiet, thinking about what the woman was offering. “Can I have some time? This is kind of a big decision.”

The woman waved him off, “yes fine. We don’t have to announce it at the premiere, but we need your decision by the end of the month.” The end of the month was less than three weeks away, not too much time. The woman turned to her computer and waved them off, “just act like a couple and the scandal blows away. See you at the end of the month.” 

As soon as he left the room, he let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “That was the opposite of what I expected.”

Julie laughed. “I think all it proved is that we are too goody two shoes to keep up with drama.”

“Maybe we should turn to a life of crime,” Luke suggested, “nothing too bad, just interesting.”

“What, like jaywalking?”

Luke staggered back in exaggerated horror. “I said nothing bad, you monster. I thought it was just a theory that only psychopaths drink black coffee but you just proved it right.”

“My bad,” Julie apologized, “how about cold-blooded murder?”

“Now we’re talking.” Luke smiled at Julie’s exasperated smile, leaning closer to link their hands together. “I got an idea on where you can start actually.”

“Jaywalking?”

“No, murder. You can kill me so I don’t have to go to the premiere of The Other Side of Hollywood.” It had been exciting to write a song for a big budget movie soundtrack, and he was excited to see the film. It was just the whole formal event thing that he wasn’t a huge fan of.

Julie rolled her eyes at her dramatic boyfriend. “It’s not going to be as bad as you think.”

“Wrong, I’ve been told if I want to go I gotta wear a tuxedo. Nobody should be cursed by the sight of me in a tuxedo.”

Instead of replying Julie stopped them in the hallway, turning him to face her and taking a step back. Her eyes trailed slowly up and down his body, her gaze hesitating on his neck, wrists, and lips. Luke felt himself start to flush at her shamelessly checking him out, nervously reaching up to scratch his forearm.

Finally, Julie nodded. “Thought so.” She turned heel and walked away.

“What?” Luke called after her.

Julie turned her head over her shoulder, eyes sparkling mischievously. “That it’s a damn shame you won’t see me in my dress.”

A week later, Luke was wearing the tux.

Unfairly though, Luke turned into a flustered mess once he saw Julie in her movie premiere dress. He struggled to pick his jaw up off the floor as he watched her blue-clothed figure make its way down the stairs. To be fair though, what did one expect him to do when an absolute goddess greeted him casually before leaning in to kiss his cheek.

“We get it,” Reggie sighed, “you two are in love and hot and all single people everywhere hate you. Can you just get in the damn car now, I was promised champagne and pigs in a blanket.”

Luke flushed at being called out by Reggie. He reached out his hand to lock fingers with Julie, helping her get the long dress into the limo. He kept that hand the whole ride, tracing the veins while he pretended he wasn’t staring at her. She could have told him to jump off a bridge that moment and he would have done it.

He wasn’t able to stick with her once they got to the red carpet though. After taking a band group picture she was pulled to the side for solo pictures, flashing an apologetic look their way. Luke knew she felt bad for being more famous than the rest of them but the guys honestly didn’t like the attention fame brought them. The three of them were more than happy to let somebody else be their face and stick to the background. Luke knew Julie couldn’t stand it either, but it was kind of hard to hide while being the lead singer.

He gestured to let her know that they would be inside waiting for her and she blew him a quick kiss goodbye. Luke felt the dopey grin on his face as Alex and Reggie dragged him inside to the party. 

“Can we stay here instead of watching the movie,” Reggie mused. Luke couldn’t help but agree with him. There were tables overflowing with food and a champagne fountain in the corner. There were also three separate bartending stations spread throughout the room that Luke was pretty sure were all open bar. Besides, the movie sounded kind of dumb anyway. It was just a drama musical about ghosts haunting the Ritz.

“Guys, we literally helped make the movie,” Alex reminded him. “The man who owns the company who manages us produced this movie.”

“Okay,” Luke agreed slowly, “ counterpoint, Caleb Covington is an ass and we should eat all of his food in silent protest.” 

Alex shrugged, “I’m convinced.” 

Skipping the movie meant that Luke lost Julie for the duration of the film. He sent a quick text to let her know the others were skipping and she replied that she was going to watch it still. It ended up being nice to goof off with his friends for a while, having hot dog eating contests with overpriced pigs in a blanket just hit different for some reason. 

He finally found her again later chatting with a guy Luke didn’t know. The man was wearing a black suit over a low cut flower print button up. His brown hair was tied in a knot at the base of his neck and there was a scar expanding down the side of his face. Luke made his way over to say hi with Alex trailing after him. He started catching their conversation the closer he got.

“It’s not that I’m against dating or hookups, it's just that people my type are usually not interested.” The man shrugged in an ‘oh well’ gesture and took a sip of his champagne.

Julie leaned in close to him. “Well I know somebody exactly your type who would be interested,” she whispered loudly. Luke frowned at the suggestive tone as she went to take another sip of her champagne. He was almost to them now with Alex not far behind.

“Oh yeah,” the man smirked, leaning  in closer to her, “and who might that be?” 

Oh HELL no, Luke’s inner voice growled. He pulled up next to them and coughed, startling the two out of their exchange. The man took a step back from Julie who just stared at him without moving.

“Luke!” Julie said in an excited tone, a wide smile spread across her face. “I missed you so much. Never leave me alone at a premiere ever again.” 

Luke wrapped a possessive arm around his waist, staring at the man in front of him to make sure he was getting the message to stop flirting with his girlfriend. He planted a kiss on her forehead, “I promise.” Julie grinned up at him, her eyes just a little too bright. Looking down at her empty champagne glass he wondered just how many she had already had. 

“You look too serious, Willie isn’t serious. Willie is the stunt double for the main character. Willie is a badass. Willie, Willie, Willie.” Julie laughed at some internal joke that he wasn’t privy to. Leaning towards his ear she whispered “Willie’s been keeping me company for you, slacker,” just as loudly as her earlier whisper.

Luke felt a flare of jealousy that his drunk girlfriend was waxing poetic about some guy he had never met while he was right next to her. The flare only fueled at Julie’s loudly whispered confession. He turned a dark stare towards the other man.

“You call it badass, I call it a paycheck,” Willie’s mouth formed a small fond smile at Julie, completely unaffected by Luke’s glare. 

“Bad. Ass.” Julie insisted, reaching forward to poke Willie’s chest to enunciate each word.

Willie looked up at Luke in amusement. “Is she always this stubborn?”

“Worse actually,” Alex spoke up. He slid up next to Luke holding his own glass of champagne. The glass looked completely full, and Luke would have bet money that it was purely for show. “She’s easy to distract when she’s drunk so you can just change the subject to start arguing.”

Laughing, Willie turned to face Alex. He opened his mouth to say something but paused halfway through, mouth snapping shut. As the two made eye contact Luke could swear the room got a little quieter. Alex’s smile faded into a small ‘oh’ of amazement as he stared at the other boy while the small smile on Willie’s face stretched out into a crooked grin, eyes crinkling. 

“Uh, hey.” Willie broke the silence.

“Hey there,” Alex replied awkwardly. 

Luke jumped as Julie poked his side excitedly. “Luke and I gotta got. Alex.”Julie gripped the boy in question’s arm and leaned toward him “You need to take care of Willie, cause he hung out with me all night. I’m drunk so I think I’m not good to take care of him. I couldn’t even take care of a baby.” Julie’s laughter at her own joke quickly transformed into a haunted stare, “my god could kill a baby.”

“Yeah, she’s done.” Luke pulled Julie back to his side. “Thank you for keeping her company,” Luke said to Willie, the words felt like poison in his mouth. 

“It was nothing, Julie’s cool.” Willie glanced over for just a moment before turning his gaze back to an oblivious Alex.

“Wait, we can’t leave until Alex promises me,” Julie protested as Luke tried to lead her away.

“I promise I’ll take care of your friend,” Alex’s tone was serious but his lips turned up in a very amused smile.

“I hope you take very good care of me,” Willie mused, casually raising his champagne glass to his lips. Alex turned red as a fire truck and started stammering at the bold flirtations.

And on that note. Luke grabbed Julie and began to lead her away from the pair, his good mood back. He was already looking forward to teasing Alex mercilessly tomorrow. Not to mention the green-eyed monster had calmed down a little now that he knew Willie was gay.

“Alex is so cute and Willie is so cute and they are both so nice,” Julie rambled. Luke smiled down at her in amusement, she always was a happy drunk. 

“How did you know Willie was gay though?” He asked, leading her down the hall to the cars. He pulled out his phone to order one of those discreet taxis that usually brought the other drunk celebrities home.

“What?” Julie asked in confusion, “Willie isn’t gay he’s bi. Bi bi birdie.” She giggled. “Willie is so cute.”

The green-eyed monster raised his head again to wink. 

+1 The Mother?

Luke was absentmindedly plucking the chords to Flying Solo on his acoustic. He had a flight that morning to Los Angeles, but his anxiety over what tomorrow had in store was making it hard for him to sleep. His plans to relax and spend the day with Julie had only made his nerves worse because she was pissed off at him for seemingly no reason.

So here he was at 2 am, less than three hours until he needed to be leaving trying to figure out what exactly he had done to piss her off. 

It wasn’t that he kept the demo to himself, as far as he knew, because they had talked about it already and she said she understood not wanting to say anything until it was official. Luke even gave her permission to listen to it before it was ready. It wasn’t for losing her at the party because he would have gotten an earful the day after. It certainly wasn’t because he had left the toilet seat up in their apartment, he had learned a while ago not to do that.

The only thing he wasn’t sure about was the whole ‘solo career’ thing. 

Luke had planned his trip so that he got back to New York the day of the deadline, which absolutely boggled his mind that he only had six days before making such a big decision. He and the rest of the band had discussed it at length, it was the kind of thing that concerned them after all. The other guys had been excited for him and Julie had been as encouraging as ever, talking about all the recognition and fans he would have.

When he thought about going solo though, he thought about how boring it was recording alone in the studio. How great it felt to be a part of the team, to succeed with his favorite people in the world. How much he hated being the center of attention. After talking to them it hit him just how much the idea of doing the music performing thing without them sucked. Luke was never in it for fame anyways, he just wanted to connect with people through music.

Luke told Julie as much in private, that he was pretty sure he wanted to stay with the band but wanted to wait to tell the others. Then he confessed that this trip would decide if he even wanted to release the single at all, since the song was so personal. Julie had patted his hand and given him one of her sad smiles. Since then, the crabby mood.

Hence, the solo career being the number one culprit.  There was a thought nagging at the back of his head though, insisting that he give it the time of day. What if Julie wants you out of the band because she’s getting tired of you?

It wasn’t the craziest thing to think about. Julie was meeting amazing people who did amazing things all the time, and Luke knew they all were well aware of how much of a catch she was. People like Willie, her highschool sweetheart Nick, even prince Nikolai of Denmark.What if Julie had realized she was tired of foster kid Luke and his issues and realized she could have a literal royalty. 

What if the only reason she hadn’t broken up with him already was that she was too nice? If that was the case, him refusing to go solo would have made her realize it would be basically impossible to escape being around him. Luke felt his stomach churn with anxiety over going home and jealousy. 

In Luke’s opinion, it would really suck if his girlfriend dumped him. Especially since part of his reason to go home being that he needed to pick up her mom's engagement ring from the jewelers. 

Or maybe she was just stressed because of her Rolling Stone celebrity profile photo shoot tomorrow, and Luke was making up her being mad at him in his head. Luke really hoped that was the case.

As the time neared 3 am, Luke finally accepted that he wasn’t going to calm himself down enough for even just a quick nap. Sighing in resignation, he began fingerpicking notes in random order until something started sounding good. He eventually realized he was humming to himself as he played, no words just a melody.

Lyrics he had written a couple weeks ago drifted in his mind. He had thrown out because they were a little too cheesy and knew the guys would have teased him if they ever read them. They hadn’t even managed to be half a song, so he wasn’t too beat up about ditching it. But now, he was alone and writing songs had always been a good backup to just practicing.

“Step into my world, bittersweet love story 'bout a girl shook me to the core. Voice like an angel I've never heard before. You set me free, me loving you is more than chemistry. I'll hold your music here inside me while my heart is in your hands. Melody and words are all I am, and when I’m with you there’s perfect harmony.”

Luke trailed off and sighed. All the song made him do is think about Julie, which made him sad again. Besides, the song didn’t feel right. He turned to put his guitar on a stand, pausing as he saw the figure leaning against the doorway.

“Julie?” Luke was confused. “What are you doing here?” The studio was a ten minute drive from their apartment, and last he checked she was asleep when he left. His girlfriend was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a band tee and her hair was pulled on to the top of her head in a messy bun. She looked like she had literally rolled out of bed.

“Why are you hiding in the practice studio at 3 am?” Julie raised an eyebrow in challenge. 

Luke sighed and looked down at his guitar. “I just needed to think, to clear my head.”

“Why? So you can decide whether or not you’re going to dump me for some girl in LA tomorrow?”

Luke felt his eyebrows rise so high on his face, he was pretty certain they were at his hairline, from his surprise at Julie’s accusation. What the hell was she talking about? Asking if he was going to ‘dump her for some girl’ like he was even capable of noticing somebody other than her. “What are you-”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Julie said in mock remorse, “I forgot I was supposed to play stupid about you pining over some girl named Emily. Silly me, I just got a little upset when you implied the whole point of your super-secret personal trip was to go see your long lost love. You know I have a little difficulty being properly supportive when I’m upset.”

Luke stared at his girlfriend in bewilderment as she glared back at him. Her words were processing slowly in his head, not quite understanding how she got the idea that he was in love with mom. Then it hit, his eyes widened in understanding.

“Oh! You listened to the demo.”

“Yeah,” Julie said icily, “I listened to your love ballad apology.” She looked up at the ceiling and took a deep breath. Luke realized in a start that she looked like she was about to cry. She looked back down at him, face melted from angry to devastated. “You know everything about my exes, you were with me through Nick breaking my heart. Why didn’t I even know about this ‘Emily’ girl? Did you not trust me?” Julie choked and a tear slid down her cheek. “Or did you know that the second I found out about her I would realize you were still in love with her?”

“Julie.” Luke felt his heart drop at the sight of her crying. His movements were so instinctive he didn’t even realize he was going to hug her until he was already doing it. Her body shook as she cried but she didn’t try and push him away. “Julie,” he said gently, “before you get more upset, I need you to remember what my mom’s name is.”

“E-Emily. But why?” Julie froze as she realized, pulling herself away from the hug. She looked up at Luke, tears still on her cheeks. “Unsaid Emily is for your mom.”

“Yes.”

“You aren’t dramatically telling a girl you are still in love with her.”

“Nope.”

“You just wrote a heartfelt emotional song apologizing to your mom.”

“Yes.”

“This trip is for you to go see your parents and try to apologize to them, isn’t it?”

“That’s right.” Julie stared up at him blankly. Luke watched her, waiting for her to say something else. Finally, the girl reached out to smack his arm not ungently.

“You jerk!” She yelled at him. “Why didn’t you tell me you were trying to do that. I would have tried to help you!”

“I know,” Luke sighed, “to be honest, I didn’t want you to come in case I backed out last minute or they rejected me. Cause if you were there, it would be real. And you got that big Rolling Stone article tomorrow, I didn’t want you to cancel.” 

Julie’s face dropped into something more sympathetic, reaching out to hold his hand. “I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for accusing you of leaving me for your mom”

Luke let out a short laugh, lacing his fingers with hers. “I can’t believe you thought I would leave you at all though.”

“To be honest if it wasn’t this I probably would have thought it at some point anyway,” Julie confessed with a shrug. “I’ve kind of thought you were getting bored of me honestly. 

His eyes widened in surprise. “What could I have possibly done to give you that impression?”

“You want a list?” Julie raised an eyebrow. “I saw the way you kept staring at that fan Lucy. Then you and Carrie were all chummy and went out together the day after my dad’s party without me. And while I was trying to set Willie up with Alex you got all mad at me and possessive over him.” Julie’s shoulders slumped, “I didn’t say anything cause it technically wasn’t cheating I didn’t want you to get annoyed and leave me.”

Luke stared at her sad face in bewilderment before bursting out in laughter. Julie glared at his amusement, “I really don’t know what you found that so funny.”

“Babe,” Luke grinned, “I was staring at Lucy because I was jealous of her flirting with you. At the premiere I wasn’t possessive of Alex, he may have been my ex but he isn’t my very sexy, smart, funny, and talented girlfriend. I was getting jealous because you kept rambling about how awesome Willie was and calling him your night and shining armor.”

“Oh,” Julie’s glare shifted into surprise. 

“You’ve been so worried about me getting bored and I was worried about the same thing,” Luke confessed, “I am so completely in love with you and I’m not sure what I would do if you didn’t do the same.”

Julie smiled, stepping into Luke’s space, reaching up to intertwine her hands behind his neck. “I kind of love you too Luke Patterson.” Luke beamed, moving his head down to capture her lips in a kiss, wrapping his hands around her waist.

Julie shivered under his hands, better than any kind of high Luke ever experienced. He smiled at Julie’s little gasp of surprise as he pulled her closer, arching her back to pull him into a deeper kiss. Luke slanted his head in a different angle, humming in contentment.

Julie was the one to break the kiss, still locked against Luke in his arms. “I should make you jealous more often," she gasped against Luke’s cheek, as he kissed the corner of her mouth. 

He froze, “don’t you dare.”

She laughed. “Well maybe you should convince me not you,” she teased flirtatiously.

“Well maybe you should marry me,” Luke blurted out. 

Mid laugh, Julie’s face froze in surprise. Luke felt his heart start to beat like crazy, instantly regretting his words.

He hadn’t meant to say it like this. His plan was to bring her to her studio at her dad’s place. To tell her how he had realized he loved her the first time she hugged him after they performed, how he realized she was the woman he was going to marry after they wrote Edge of Great at 1 am their senior year. How he wasn’t able to stop smiling for a week when she told him she liked him at graduation. How the past three years have been the happiest of his life.

It was not meant to be blurted out after the two of them just had an argument over whether or not Luke was sleeping with his mom. He didn’t have his ring, wasn’t down on one knee, and definitely looked like crap from not sleeping. Julie deserved better than that. She wasn’t going to say-

“Yes,” Julie blurted out, cutting through his train of thought.

His brain circuited. “What?”

“Yes I’ll marry you, you big idiot.” 

Luke beamed, heart soaring with joy. She said yes! He cupped her cheeks and started peppering her face with kisses. He was so happy that he was sure he could fly. Finally, he settled on her lips for a slow sweet kiss.

Once again Julie was the one to separate them, leaning back. “I am so canceling my Rolling Stones shoot.”

Three days later, Luke knocked on the door to a brick house in the suburbs of LA. He started fidgeting nervously, unaware of his fiddling fingers until Julie’s warm and slid into his own. He looked down at their joined hands with a smile, Julie’s mom’s engagement ring catching the light. He could do this, he could do anything as long as she was by his side.

The door swung open to reveal a tired grey-haired woman. Her eyes widened as she saw Luke.

“Hi mom. I’m home.” 

[prompt-master]

Consider: angst for the less popular characters in dr. Aka - write a list of the characters you haven't really talked about and list what type of angst/whump you think fits them.

I live to please lets do it

Owada Monda: I 🥺 I think a lot about how Owada said he would give up his talent and become a carpenter in the Escape Button Ending. It feels so right. He's letting go of the past and his guilt to live a new life.

Ishimaru Kiyotaka: ishimaru likely fears that breaking the rules will lead you on the wrong path like his grandfather, so his obsession comes from a sense of protecting. He likely would panic if he ever broke a real, feeling like himself is becoming a bad person.

Fujisaki Chihiro (note: i use all pronouns for fujisaki): i think its really tragic how Fujisaki's father died before finding out what happened to his kid. He clearly loved Fujisaki, and accepted that she presented as female wholeheartedly. To die without ever knowing...even if the truth is gruesome...

Celestia Ludenburg: this might be TOO obvious but for Celeste to rewrite her entire identity into this character she must have a of insecurities. We know she wanted more than anything to feel special. I like to think that overtime with her friends she becomes more comfident in herself while also keeping the gothic lolita look simply because she likes it

Yamada Hifumi: a lot of people like to call Yamada a creep and nothing else and I am here to dispel such claims. He is not the best written character but. I think a lot of people are too harsh on him. Think about it, for Yamada to know Celeste's real name she had to have geniunely bonded with him. But her selfish dream was more important. The picture of what good, teasing friends they were hurts me because they became anything but in the killing game. Yamada just wanted to help her achieve her dream and serve her. Without asking for favors in return mind you. He knew he would die for her selfish dream. I think that as much as he wanted to help her...he was too ugly for her :(

Ikusaba Mukuro: Think about how fuc ked up her life is. And I dont just mean all the Enoshima stuff. I'm talking about her talent. Most Ultimates at HPA were trained young and Ikusaba is no exception. She saw death and murder and knew how to kill from a very young age. She says she had an interest but...she was a child man! And she's easy to manipulate because she sees herself as a weapon and a tool to be ordered around.

Maizono Sayaka: idk if this is true. But every time I've played drthh the first gift I always got the everlasting friendship bracelet first. And...that was the first gift I ever got. And i gave it to Maizono. And now I always give it to her. It kinda feels like its HER gift to me. I remember first playthrough I got the bracelet again and...I felt this "oh..." moment as I remembered what happened. I couldn't and still cannot give that gift to anyone else. I like to think that as Maizono was dying, she had the bracelet in her pocket and remembered who she betrayed and was dooming. She wrote out "LEON" while thinking of Naegi, wishing she hadn't let her fear get the best of her.

Fukawa Toko: Fukawa likely has feelings for Togami BECAUSE hes an ashole. We know that Fukawa is a self proclaimed mas ochist but I think theres more here. Fukawa idolizes love but has never had it go well for her, having been unwanted from birth. So many guys have tricked her by claiming to like her only to ditch her as a joke. Togami tells her straight up that she's disgusting. In her eyes if she can get Togami to admit he loves her...it's a GUARANTEE. Nothing will backstab her after that. (Also 🥺 i think a lot about how her only friend/loved one is a stinkbug)

Kuwata Leon: i aint touching his past. Shiits weird with his cousin man. We instead gonna just say Kuwata probably got a lot of injuries since hes reckless and doesnt really care about baseball too much. He wants to be a musician partially to express his emotions and frustrations. As the music duo I think he and Maizono used to be really really close before the game.

Asahina Aoi: I firmly believe that Asahina will not be able to move on and date anyone in the future. Ogami was the one. That was her Sakura-chan. She may have accepted her death, but the only way she's getting in a relationship again is in the afterlife when she meets back up with Ogami.

Ogami Sakura: A big source of inspiration for Ogami to become not just stronger but embrace her feminine side comes from her first love, Kenshiro. If you don't know: Kenshiro was the strongest man in the world, stronger than Ogami, but fell to terminal illness. Ogami promised him when he beat his illness she would beat him fair and square. Because of this I feel like her feelings for Asahina must have come with a bit of conflict. Kenshiro means so much to her, but Asahina also means so much to her. Unfortunatly she died before she could figure it out, but she accepted that she loved the both of them.

Hagakure Yasuhiro: I think that Hagakure had a REALLY REALLY good relationship with his mom. The entire time game and after hes thinkin about his mom. He wants more than anything after surviving to find her. Dead or alive. If shes dead he wants to say goodbye properly.

[megan0013]

trollhunters: two years, too long

trio friendship, stricklake - 1,333 words - angst

there may be two parts, but really this is just a bunch of dialogue to get my creative juices flowing. and this trope has been stuck in my head forever. so there’s that.

“I don’t…” Jim’s eyes dart frantically from Claire to Toby and back again. “I don’t understand. What happened to you guys? Why do you look…” He shakes his head and gestures at Tony’s freshly trimmed facial hair. “How did you grow a beard?”

“Jimbo. Um.” Toby swallows and glances briefly at Claire, hoping for some sort of intervention from the self-proclaimed master of improv. She provides none. “Dude, it’s uh… It’s been two years.”

Jim’s nose wrinkles in confusion as he stares blankly at his best friend. “Two years? Since what?”

“Since you disappeared into the Darklands,” Toby says slowly, wincing at the look of utter disbelief that takes hold of Jim’s features.

“What? No. No, I was only in there for three weeks. Twenty-two days, exactly.” His gaze swings to Claire. “Claire? Tell him.”

“Jim,” Claire starts. She closes her eyes and raises from her crouch. “He’s right. You’ve been gone twenty-two months. I guess… Well, according to Strickler time doesn’t flow the same in the Darklands as it does here. It’s slower, and every day there is roughly the equivalent of a month on the surface.”

Jim blinks. “But… That can’t be right.”

“Look at us,” Claire says softly and gestures to herself and Toby. “We’re seniors. Toby just turned eighteen and my birthday is next week. Look. He got his braces off a year ago.”

Toby grimaces toothily and points at his perfectly even chompers. “Brace-free and loving it.”

“I don’t…” Jim takes a deep, panicked breath. “This can’t be happening. I can’t…”

“Deep breaths, Jimbo,” Toby instructs soothingly. He reaches out to place a calming hand on Jim’s shoulder as he drops his face into his hands. “Remember? Deep breaths.”

Jim squeaks and then suddenly looks up, eyes wide. “My mom!”

“Is fine,” Toby assures him as Claire once again crouches down to the boys’ level. When Jim opens his mouth to seemingly argue, Toby swiftly cuts him off. “She knows everything. All about trolls and goblins and what you were doing in the Darklands. We, um…”

“We had to tell her,” Claire says with a sigh. “We could only keep up appearances with the Glamour Mask for so long. And when you didn’t come back after a few weeks… It wasn’t fair to keep it from her anymore.”

Jim groans, anguished with shame and guilt for his mother’s most-assured emotional cliff dive.

“Strickler did most of the talking.” Toby gives Jim’s shoulder a squeeze. “He’s a lot better at that kind of stuff. And we figured your mom would need the support.”

Claire snorts and Toby flashes her an annoyed glance.

“What?” Jim asks, looking at Claire in alarm. “What was that for?”

“He’s just…” Claire shakes her head, but does award him a genuine smile. “He’s been very helpful, Jim. When Usurna dumped the bridge pieces –“

“Usurna what?!”

“She had Killahead Bridge torn down,” Claire breathes. “And then she had the pieces dumped in the middle of the ocean.”

“But Claire,” Toby nudges her with his shoulder, “and NotEnrique were able to recover most of them from the shipping container before it sank.”

“I still have nightmares.”

“But we thought a few of them were lost forever,” Toby admits. “Strickler, however, has friends in low places. It took some time –“

“Obviously,” Claire interjects under her breath.

“- but we finally managed to locate the remains of the container and collect the last couple of pieces. We’ve been rebuilding it in secret.” Toby nods at the fully constructed bridge behind them. “Dude, your mom is gonna freak. She hasn’t given up hope for a second. Even when the rest of us…”

Jim ignores the sheepish look on his friend’s face as he trails off and scans the wooded area around them. “Where is she? If she knows about all this, why isn’t she here?”

“She’s at home with the bae-ked goods.” Toby’s eyes widen. “We baked things. To honor your, um, return?”

“We didn’t tell her.” Claire rolls her eyes at Toby’s lame attempt to cover his almost-slip. “She’s been through enough and we didn’t want to get her hopes up in case anything went wrong. She doesn’t even know we finished rebuilding the bridge yet.”

“Which reminds me,” Toby mumbles as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. He scrolls through the contacts and shoots off a quick text before returning it. “Strickler. He’ll give her the heads-up so she won’t be so shocked when you get home.”

Home, Jim thinks with a surge of longing. “Can we go now?” He asks, and slowly gets to his feet. “This is a lot to take in and I really just want to… I just really want to go home.”

“Yeah!” Claire says a little too brightly. “Of course. Um, do you want me to use my staff or –“

“No.” Jim shakes his head. “No, I’ve had enough of magic portals tonight. Can we just walk?”

“Yeah,” Toby agrees instantly and they begin heading toward the south end of the woods. He pulls out his phone again and shoots off another text. “Totally.”

They walk in silence for a few minutes as Jim very slowly begins to digest this latest predicament he’s found himself, until he suddenly asks, “What have you guys been doing?”

“What?”

“A lot happens in two years,” Jim says softly, realizing the truth behind the words and what it must mean for him. “What have you guys been up to?”

“Oh. Well, I’m an alien.”

“And he was Homecoming King.”

“Wait.” Jim shakes his head. “You what?!”

“Yeah, well.” Toby shrugs and grins. “Dating Darcy really scored me some popularity points. You should have seen Steve’s face when my name was announced. Dead, dude. He was just… dead. Probably one of the best moments of my life.”

“No.” Jim rolls his eyes. “You’re an alien?”

“Oh, that!” Toby nods as they step out of the woods. “My grandfather was from a planet called Akiridion 5. Pretty cool dude. A little intense, but that’s okay. I think you’ll like Vex.”

“He’s alive?”

“He lives with us,” Toby says, eyebrows raised. “A little awkward sometimes, but hey. He makes Nana happy.”

“So,” Jim rubs his hand over his face, “you’re an alien and Homecoming King? Okay. Claire?”

Claire shoots him a small, sideways smile. “Witch.”

“Why does that make more sense than anything else you’ve told me tonight?” Jim takes a deep breath. “And Aaarrrgghh is alive? But how did that even happen?”

“Strickler had a book all about Creeper’s Sun. We had to get it back from the Janus Order –“

“That was an adventure.”

“-first, and when we finally got the antidote Aaarrrgghh was… Possessed?” Toby glances at Claire for confirmation. “Yeah, possessed by Kanjigar for a hot second. And then he got repossessed when we finished the bridge. But that was because we needed a Trollhunter to open it.”

“There was a very endearing father/son moment between Kanjigar and Draal,” Claire adds.

“I’ll admit,” Toby sighs, “I teared up a bit.”

“Wow,” Jim chuckles, though he doesn’t sound amused at all. “Sounds like I missed a lot.”

“We’ll fill you in,” Claire says softly and gives his forearm a gentle squeeze. “And I’m sure we’re in for a lot more adventures now that you’re back.”

“We?”

Claire opens her mouth, closes it and clears her throat. “We’ll talk more about that later. Okay?”

He doesn’t like the answer, but Jim’s tired brain can’t seem to dwell on it as they turn onto his cup-de-sac and his house comes into view. He swallows, unsure and excited and relieved all at once.

“Do you want us to go in with you?” Claire asks.

“No.” Jim takes a deep breath as he walks up the path to his own front door. “I can handle it.”

“Jim…” Claire frowns at Toby. “Look, we’ll be at TP’s if you need us.”

Jim nods, but his focus is solely on the door in front of him.

[angelynrostrand]

Chapter 7

Summary:  To the outside world, nothing should connect shy girl Angel Monroe and popular boy Xavier Hazelwood. But that isn't entirely true. They both hold secrets. Behind both of them lie 2 separate wolf packs. Xavier is well on his way to Alpha status and running the pack. Angel is not a wolf but instead the last healer in the world. When the realization comes forward that they are connected by destiny, will they decide to fulfill it? Is their connection predetermined by fate or will they choose their hearts? Lives and packs cross and mingle while romance and conflict brews. The story of 2 opposite souls on a collision path. Will destiny win out? Even the most innocent face, has the darkest secrets.

Word Count: 3,789

http://www.waymarking.com/waymarks/WM6QX0_I_70_Diner_Flagler_CO

I make my way to Dr. Shirley’s office. I do my best to avoid my alpha while making my way to the left side. I am actually excited because Dr. Shirley is someone I don’t have to lie too, which is refreshing. I walk right inside but decided to knock at his office door. His door is open but the knock gives him a chance to look up.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Shirley. How are you?”

“I thought we agreed on first names. And I am good.” He finishes some documents on his desk. I sit right in front of him.

“True but I was thinking…”

“Oh no that’s not good.” He teases. I smile at his comment.

“How about I will call you Trevor outside of work? I just think it would be professional when we have clients in and out.”

“Ok I agree but then I will call you Miss Monroe.” I just nod to agree. “While we are here,” pointing at his desk, “why don’t we arrange a schedule for you and what will be your duties.” I continue to nod to follow his orientation.

We both agree to meet up every other day. But if there is an emergency then I am needed. We exchange number so he will be able to contact me faster. He gives me a tour of the office, showing me each warrior’s medical history. I will need to be familiar with documents and the organization. Then he shows me around the hospital. We walk in the back room. 

“I think you are going to like this room.” He unlocks and pushes open the door.

“Oh my god,” are the only words that seem to come out of my mouth. I was speechless. The room has white and clean tile counters. It is full of plants hanging above my head. “Is this for making medicine?” He just nods and smiled at my excitement. “Is this fresh rainwater?” I pointed at the clear veil. 

“Yes. I wanted to get some before the rain stopped.” I hold my laugh knowing it was me who caused most of the rain. “What are you laughing about?” He questions.

I guess I can tell him, considering he knows my secret. While telling my story of about the rain caused by my teen boy trouble with Xavier. We walk back to his office and take our original seats. I tell him about most of my day and the weird love triangle of me, Xavier, and Rebecca. It is nice to be able to talk to some and let it all out.

 “I am sorry I didn’t mean to vent and take up most of your time.” I feel a little guilty.

“No. It’s fine. I enjoy talking to you and I bet you don’t get to do it as often as you should.” I just shrugged. “And I bet being your own kind of species it must be lonely.” I nodded. “I want us to be able to communicate and we need to trust each other. So I am hoping you telling me this will create that bond. Thank you for sharing.” Why is he so nice? “Anyways I have to get going. Here is a key for the infirmary. I am trusting you. It will open all doors and cabinets in this place.” He handed me a key with a key chain attached to it. I check my watch. It is already 5 pm. Where did the time go? We did talk back and forth but I guess when you have a great company time does go by fast. He locks the room and I walk him to his car like I did yesterday. 

While walking, we are stopped by Alpha Monroe. “May I take my sister for a moment?”

“Of course Alpha Monroe. I will see you later Angel.” He bows to my brother and walks away.

“Bye,” I say. I looked up at my brother. We have a lot to talk about. I follow behind him silently to his office.

“How was school?” He asks as we both sit on his leather couch.

“Are you asking as my brother or as my alpha?” I ask with little patience. “Sometimes I am not sure anymore.” 

“Angel, I will always be your brother. I am sorry about this morning, but I am new to this.”

“I understand that. I thought you would never use your title against me. Because if that’s what we are doing. Don’t forget I am part of an Alpha’s family member, also a luna to a different pack, and a healer, and you shouldn't forget I can control the elements. So don’t you dare use titles against me.” When I finish, he looks shocked. I don’t know where this power came from but I am glad I was able to speak up. I normally stay quiet. 

“Angel, what is happening to us? We never fight.” He asks.

“We are growing up. I’m leaving for college soon and you are the mighty Alpha.” I stand up and walk back and forth. I feel like I need to let off some steam. It is true we never fight. Since he is an Alpha we don’t get to spend time together anymore. I need to do something. I feel like I’m going to explode.

Eric noticed my stressful face.“Angel talk to me. Like you used to do. What is going on?” 

I want to. I really do. Should I mention Xavier and the kiss? He used to ask me about my day every day right after I got home from school. We would talk for hours and he would make fun of my study habits. “Ok. But I need a brother and not an alpha. It’s about Xavier.”

His body tenses up just by the mention of him. I can tell he is holding himself from saying anything. “What about him?”

“I really like him and I want to have some kind of relationship with him. Why are you so against it? He’s not a bad guy and...” 

“Angel don’t you understand. You are going to put his pack in danger too. If they keep your secrets they will come after them.”

“I won’t tell him then.”

“That is not going to work and you know that. You need to keep your distance away from him. He will only bring trouble for you and for this pack.”

“No, he won’t! Are you worried that he might hurt me like how they did?” That event still haunts me and just the mention of it shuts him up.

“You know what? Yes! That’s why me, father, and the pack has been protecting you for years and we will until we die!” How did we end up yelling at each other?

“He wouldn't do that!” I take a deep breath and calmly said. “Father may have isolated me from the pack, but you have isolated me from the whole world.” I walk away before he can notice my watery eyes. I open the door and everyone who was outside stares at me. They must have heard the argument. I ran away as fast as I could to my only safe place. The moment I got inside I wrapped myself in a blanket that was on top of the couch.  I quietly repeat to myself “Relax.” I can’t blow up. If I do, unthinkable things can happen. 

I woke up the next day with the sun in my eyes. I must have fallen asleep probably from exhaustion. I check the time and if I don’t get up I am going to be late for school. Luckily I have some clothes in the cottage. The weather is sunny with no clouds nearby. So today I will wear a simple dress with a large cardigan over and white keds. I love cardigans. I just feel like I am being hugged the whole time. I am starving. I didn’t eat lunch or dinner yesterday. I grab an apple from a tree I planted. I put it in my bag and biked off to school.  

For running late, I got to school pretty early. I decided to go to the library since I didn’t do my English homework. I always sit on the second floor with the table next to the window. The view for a morning sunrise. I pulled out my computer and started to write my daily summary for The Brave New World. I submit it before the class start and now I can rest until the bell rings. I rest my chin on my hand and I can feel my eyes slowly closing. Maybe just a little nap. I was at peace until minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. It’s probably a librarian. When I finally open my eyes I can see it was not a librarian but it is Xavier. I shoot up from the desk. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Good morning.” He sits next to me and places his bag on top of the table. 

“No, you are fine.” I cover my yawn with my hand.

“You didn’t text on what happened.”

“Sorry. Let’s just say it didn’t go well. I fell asleep after the fight my brother and I had.”

“What did he say?”

“I rather not repeat it. What time is it?”

“We have 10 minutes until class starts. Why don’t you finish your nap? I’ll be here so nothing will bother you.” He shuts my laptop in front of me. 

“But what about you?”

“I’ll be fine. I want to finish this book anyways.” He pulls it out from his bag. I nod and fold my arms on the table. I lay my head on my arms thinking it could be a pillow. 

The bell wakes me up. Xavier looks up from his book and notices me. 

“Do I look that bad that you are laughing at me?” I do feel drained. Probably cause I still haven’t eaten.

“No.” He shakes his head. “I’m not laughing. I am smiling because you are so beautiful even when you are sleepy.” We both collect our stuff and make our way to class.

I do like his comments but I never know how to reply. So I normally joke about it. “You are so weird.” Xavier takes me to my class plus we can continue to talk. It’s a good thing our classes are in the same building. So naturally, we walk the same way. 

“Do you work today?” He asks.

“No tomorrow I do. I work every other day. Why?”

“Well since we both have the afternoon off. Maybe a little lunch date? After school.” 

“Okay. I would like that.” His smile grows across his face. “But..” His smile retreats, “I  rode my bike here and..”

“That’s fine I can put it in the back of my car.” 

“Will it fit?” He just nods. “Okay then.”

“I’ll pick you up in front of the art building the same spot where I did this.” He leaned over to do a small and quick kiss. Man, that will never get old. 

I nod and walk inside my class. With the kiss, I got Rebecca’s attention. Oh no. Well, it was a good run ladies and gentlemen I might be about to die. But she doesn’t bother me. Maybe the talk with Xavier really got to her. She actually moves seats. One in front of the class. Declaring she can’t see from the back window. She switches seats with the girl from art. What a great way to start class. I get the nice girl over the girl who is will to kill me. By the time I made it to Art I was waiting patiently for my teacher to let us out. 

I stand in the same spot we both agreed to meet. I waited for Xavier. I understand his last class is a gym class and it takes time to change. So while I wait I  read. I only could read a couple of pages before I was lifted and spun around. Xavier's arms wrapped around my waist and easily lifted me with his werewolf strength.

“There you are.” He said.

I laughed and said, “and now I am being lifted.” He still had me off the ground.  

“Are you ready?” He asked

“No, because I can not touch the ground. How am I supposed to walk?” We both laugh.

“Fine.” He finally put me down and spun me around so I was looking up at his is beautiful brown eyes.  “What is it?” He notices my little smile.

“Nothing.” He is just amazing in so many ways and I don’t know how long this will last but I don’t want it to be over. “Come on. Let's go.”

Xavier was right, my bike does fit in the car. We make our way through town to a nearby cafe. It is a local restaurant that everybody goes to. Thank god because Xavier would be the type of person to surprise me with a 5-star restaurant. Too fancy for me and I hate surprises it’s a moment of not being in control. 

We sit on the opposite sides. I can feel the fake red leather seat beneath me. The cafe has a cute retro feel to it. At each table has a small jukebox to play throughout the restaurant. “What do you feel like eating?” Xavier asks.

“I am not sure. All I know is I am starving. I didn’t eat dinner or breakfast.”

“Why?”

“I forgot, I guess.” I don’t want to tell him the real reason. Especially the fight with my brother. 

“So how was your new job? What are you doing exactly?” He asks after we order.

“I work for our pack’s doctor, Dr. Shirley. We go to him for injuries considering we can’t really go to any hospitals or we would be caught. I’m mostly there for organizing documents and learn from him.” Our food arrives and I am ready to devour my burger.

“Is that what you want to do? Be a doctor?” He says while dipping his fries in the ketchup.

“Maybe I do like to heal others. So maybe something in the medical field.” A little hint never hurt anyone. “What about you? Your plans after high school.”

“Well since I was born, my future was always one path to take. Get good grades, get into a good college. Become some type of business major, graduate, then become Alpha. I can’t escape my fate. I was born to be next in line.” I feel like that last part was really for me rather than him. I can not escape my fate. 

“True but that shouldn’t stop you from learning or experiencing anything else.”

“I know, but I do like a schedule to follow and I need one for my pack to be successful.” He stops to sip his drink and asked. “Where are you going for college?”

“I was accepted into 3 colleges: Brown, Boston, and Columbia. I need to decide soon. I am not sure. What about you?”

“Wow. Nerd.” He played around I just smiled and continue to eat. “I was also accepted into Columbia and Philadelphia.”

“Wow. Nerd.” I use his words to tease him.

“Maybe we should go to college together? Columbia.” The question was scary to think. I never thought about what we are going to do after high school. We will be able to stay together with a lie still ruining me inside. Before I can respond, the waiter brings our check. Our hands overlap the ticket. “What are you doing?” He asks.

“What are you doing?”

“I invited you here so I am paying.” He grabs the ticket.

“You are not going to let it go? Are you?” He shook his head side to side. I took a deep sigh. “Fine but I am leaving a tip.” He rolls his eyes and gets up to pay. 

We walk back to his car. He stops to read a new text message. “Dang it.”

“What? Is there something wrong?”

“No, I just have to pick up my little brother from school.”

“Oh that’s okay I can ride my bike back home.” I don’t want to get caught by my brother. If he sees Xavier it might just add fuel to the fire.

“Angel, I can drop you off then pick him up later.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t want him to wait. It’s dangerous for a little boy to wander around. I’ll be fine.” He unlocks his car and takes out my bike from the back. “Think of it as a punishment for not letting me pay.” He just laughs it off.

“Fine, but please text me this time. Let me know you got home safe. Like you said it’s dangerous around here.”

“Okay, I promise. Now go get your brother.”

“Please go before it gets dark.”

I look around. “Xavier you know it’s only 3 pm, right? I don’t think it will get dark that fast.” He just stays quiet from embarrassment. “Bye.” He waves goodbye as I ride away from him. What a silly boy I have. What am I going to do with him? I ask myself while riding home.

After our lunch date, Xavier and I have been ‘a couple’ in the eyes of high schoolers. I am still not sure what we are. I know I can’t really date him without my Alpha’s permission. Which will never happen, but I do like to spend time with him. Even the small talks between classes or when I have to tutor him in the library. Every day I get to see a new side of him. A side where most people don’t know. Xavier and I sit side by side in the library with books, laptops and paper spread out in front of us. 

“Question?” I asked 

“Answer.”

“Do you ever feel bad lying to your friends?” I whisper “Like your human friends? You are Mr.Popular and everyone wants to be your friend. You can’t really get close to them without telling them your secret.” He stops writing to give a proper answer.

“Ya people do know I am from a wealthy family and that draws them in. But they aren’t really my friends. I am just nice to everyone. We are stuck with each other for 4 years might as well be nice to them.”

“That makes sense...but still.”

“Well, what about you?”

‘“Me?” What did I do?

“You just as wealthy as me, you are kind, smart you are in honors, and beautiful.”

“What’s your question?”

“My question is: Why aren’t you popular? And I mean this in the kindest way possible, why don’t you have friends? We have been at the same school for years and you just keep to yourself.”

“I wouldn’t want to lie to people I care about. Friends are someone who you can trust and tell them everything. I can’t do that in my situation. Plus I can never have sleepovers at my house or they will start asking questions I can’t answer.”

“That makes sense. Before meeting you I just thought you were shy and like a to do your thing and leave. Now after meeting you, you are not as shy as I thought. Why?”

“I don’t know maybe no one gave me a chance.” I blame my family for isolating the world from me. Xavier’s phone buzzes from a text. “Who is it?”

“It’s my friends. They want to meet you and hang out.” 

Xavier attracts a popular kind of people. He saw my worried expression and said. “Don’t worry they are great. They are from my pack. They are my true friends.” That helps. “I am going to text them to meet us at the library. I'm sure they also have homework too.” I just nod to agree.

Minutes later twins walk in and spot us reading. They are the total opposite. One looks happy and is wearing a fun pattern shirt. The other is mostly in black with a band shirt. 

“Omg, it is such an honor to meet you.” The one with the bright shirt says and pulls me from my chair to hug me. “My name is Brandon and this is my twin Jordan.” Jordan just shakes my hand. 

“Dude lay off my mate.” Xavier scold to mostly Brandon. 

“Sorry I am just excited to meet you. Our future luna.” I sat down and fidget with my nails under the table. “I will do my best to protect you and…”

I don’t know if his excitement was scaring me or the whole Luna and Alpha position. It is still a touchy subject for me. Jordan noticed and stopped his twin. “Brother you're making it worse. Stop it.” Thank you, Jordan for saving me.  I look back at Xavier. He has the same expression as I did.

Overall the twins were funny. Brandon and I joke around while Jordan and Xavier talked or did some of their work. Whenever Brandon spoke, Jordan would make a sarcastic comment to tease his brother. Xavier’s true friends weren’t that bad. They felt like they were like my friends. Is that weird to say?

Jordan finally spoke to me. “Is that a pearl necklace?” 

I place my finger to my collar bone where it laid. It was small and dainty with only one single pearl. “Yes.”

“Is that your birthstone?” Of course, Jordan would be the type to know about stones. 

“Yes and my mother’s stone.” They stayed quiet. Dang, it Angel you made things awkward again. 

“It’s beautiful. You wear it all the time?” Xavier said. I nodded. I don’t want to make things more uncomfortable. My phone went off with Dr. Shirley on the other line. Thank god.

“Hello? Dr.Shirley.”

“Angel where are you!” It sounds like he is catching his breath.

“I am at school. Why?” Something is wrong.

“You need to come home! Now! There was an attack!” I stand up and my face pales. Xavier and the twins note my actions. “I need your help! Come home!” 

“Okay, I will be there as soon as possible.” I ended the call. “Xavier, can you take me home?” I ask while putting my stuff in my bag as fast as I could.

“Ya, what’s wrong?” He also rushes to put his stuff in his bag. 

“I’m sorry guys I have to go. But it was nice to meet you.” Then we both run to his car. 

“Angel, what is going on?” he asked as we enter in his car.

“There was an attack at my house.”

[wolvesdevour]

How Not to Write Gay Stories

I’m very torn between writing two different posts and there’s a chance these may combine, so we’ll see how this goes. There are two topics that are in my mind a fair amount: gay fetishism by women authors (both in fanfic & professional writing), and how to translate fanfic writing skills to professional writing (and how it can fail). Miraculously, perhaps, the book I just read, How (Not) To Ask a Boy to Prom by SJ Goslee is a fairly good example of both of these. 

The problem with addressing gay fetishism among women authors is that when is it fetishistic versus well-meaning? It’s hard for me to say why the originators of gay slash fic wrote the way they did, but its hard to miss that when fanfic especially grew prominent, over 80% of writers were women. In Star Trek fandom, the first gay slash fic was published by a woman in 1974: A Fragment Out of Time. By 1973, 90% of ST fan writers were women. 

To clear the air a little: women writers can write good gay stories. One of series I am currently read, The Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb, includes many gay men, some of which are centered POVs. I will not say she is a perfect author, but I deeply enjoy how she writes men. For a good portion of the series, she shows a man growing up: he starts as a young boy, and we see how the men around him teach him to be a man. A very good portion of the lessons stray away from toxic masculinity. He is still taught to be a man, and there are certain “this is a manly trait” aspects (although when she features women as forefront POV, she often includes very similar lessons: ultimately nothing is exclusive to one’s sex, but society is what it is and they may learn lessons differently or overcome different hurdles).

She addresses writing gay men in this interview: Here’s the thing - when I meet a person, their gender identity is most often not the most important thing about them. If we become friends, it’s not because my first impulse is, “I will be friends with you because you’re female.” I mean, there’s a lot of women I can’t stand. There’s a lot of men that I absolutely can spend hours talking to. There are a lot of people on the whole gender spectrum and whether I become friends with them or not has nothing to do with that, so when I am writing these characters, although in some ways gender can influence a plot - for instance, if you want the prince and the princess to get married and live happily ever after in a medieval setting, gender is going to influence that - but for the most part, gender is not much more important than who has blue eyes. What’s more important is who is a skilled navigator, who is tough enough to survive a bad situation, who can think on their feet and find the creative solution to a problem they haven’t encountered before, and that’s got nothing to do with gender. So it was not that I said, “Gee, I will write a book with gay characters.” It was, I’m writing a book, this character has stepped out onto the stage, he’s told me about him- or herself, and this is who they are. As I said: I’m not here to say that women cannot write gay stories. But there is also gay fetishism. I am both a gay man and a trans man; I get a lot of “OMG, you’ll love this!” and cis or straight people presenting me with things that appear inclusive or caring. I personally don’t find memes like “Steve Rogers is a transwoman!”** or whatever amusing. Am I, say, happy to see that Loki is canonically not straight nor cisgender? Yes. I love that. (Does that potentially make Victor von Doom not straight, uh, I like to think so.) I like reading LGBT+ stories, but a good portion of them may not interest me, especially if the writer isn’t part of that demographic and has a tendency to post a lot of art, writing, or discuss a lot of how hot, cute, or general appealing it is that a character or couple are LGBT. That creeps me out. I’m not alone. Very not alone. Absolutely not alone. Here’s another post, this time by a woman that I appreciate:

The worst thing,” one gay friend said, “is that [women in the slash community] aren’t listening to me. You’re not listening when I tell you that you’re being hurtful.”

What I find especially difficult to convey is the nuances to when women write gay men versus when men do. I’ve been trying to collect “gay stories written by gay men” although due to publishing bias, this can be very difficult: As a queer, trans reader, I looked forward to seeing myself in their pages. But I was surprised to find that some LGBTQ-focused stories were reflecting not me, but a straight person’s imagination of me. [Link 1]

The current transman story I like is seen in Early Riser by Jasper Fforde. The character utterly blindsided me in a great way: he never appeared “omg trans” until it was forced to come to light. I appreciate him as well, as a character, because in a harsh survival world, he is a man who survives well. I especially see a lot of “transmen are soft uwu such boi” and I despise this. I did not survive everything in my life to be diminished to pastels and cute/sweet and childish-boyish characteristics.  Similarly, as a gay man, I am not there to be pretty, to serve as a fashion guru for straight people, to be soft and pretty and welcoming. And that’s not how gay men write themselves. This isn’t how transmen write themselves. As a writer, I struggled a lot on how to depict trans characters, and my largest lesson (and I certainly hope to published one day, but who knows) is that I never saw good examples of myself because most typically they are written by straight, cis women.  So what is so wrong with Goslee’s How (Not) To Ask A Boy to Prom? (There will absolutely be spoilers.) The main character is a teen boy who has long hair, loves succulents aggressively, loves narwhals, and has no male friends. His school is supportive of gay men: a very popular football player is gay and has supportive friends, another gay teen (who becomes his boyfriend) has very supportive friends. For some reason, this gay teen is incapable to do anything for himself. He loves art, doesn’t do sports, doesn’t really connect with his foster parents, and seems overly attached to his sister. He is effectively a very flat and “soft” person. Some guys are, of course. Some gay guys are more art, less sports. But the other men? Si & Bern? They’re equally soft. Si is described as soft, beautiful, kind, sweet. He has zero personality. He is described the same way, every time, and is overly described as soft, all men are soft, it’s like they bathe in fabric softener. Bern, the “bad boy” is barely... That. He is supposed to be gruff to the main character, but for the good portion, he is like the main character (Nolan), and Si. They are all the same person, ultimately. 

Bloom might be a good comparison to How (Not) To Ask a Boy to Prom. This is written by a man (Kevin Pancetta) and illustrated by a woman (Savanna Ganucheau). I don’t like the character design. Most of the gay men I showed it to asked if at one of the guys (or both) are women. But it is a story about a frustrated kid who wants to move out of his small town to Baltimore (okay: as a Marylander who grew up in a very small town and eventually moved to Baltimore, I kinda.... Get this), but meets another man who is older, but not creepily too old for him, and its a romance & vague coming of age story. If you grew up in a small city as LGBT+, it’s hard to find your sense of self. You miss out a lot on life; I think Ari reflects that: he wants to be himself.  A lot of this enters into my point 2: The problem of being a fanfic writer, or the pitfalls of translating fanfic writing skills to professional writing. Nolan is not a person; he has no strong characteristics. We’re told he likes narwhals and succulents, he is a foster child, he’s gay, and I have trouble quantifying him the way I do Ari because he’s so devoid of personality. Si is probably the least developed character at all, as the “perfect, Apollo-esque gay football player.” Bern is maybe the most developed, going from gruff-mean guy to gay softy--a motorcycling math nerd.  The problems with fanfic writing is that it is based on knowing characters. As fanfic writers, we don’t have to nail down reality, because there’s a whole piece devoted to who they are. We’re just filling in those blanks. The author seems to primarily be a Teen Wolf fanfic writer (her bio lists “werewolves,” but her tumblr blog is very devoted to Teen Wolf, so well). This brings up another creepy pitfall, which is beyond slash fic writing, there is the aspect of word usage. If you’ve been following my vague live-reading, I’ve been posting about the massive references to “puppy” and other trends. It is creepy to read out of context. 

It seems, according to reviews, that Goslee has trouble with this in her other book, Whatever: or how junior high became totally f$@ked. She has a stream of consciousness that doesn’t explain the main character’s thoughts or the world very well. In fanfic writing, this would end up being a slow burn. “Oh, but are they really going to date?” etc. In How Not, Nolan fake-dates Bern, and googles this concept, finding fanfic works. This gets weird for me, because it’s supposed to be an inside joke, I guess? “Hey teeny nerds: fanfics” but most gay men I know have a difficult relationship with fanfic and with fan community due to fetishism. We get pressed out of spaces a fair amount because of it. (One link above, the Mary Sue one, discusses how women do this.) Of course, this is meant to be a cute, happy book, right? Alright, it’s a cute, upbeat story. Except we don’t get a very good baseline for the world. Bern & Si’s friends are supportive. We get a form of negativity from Bern’s mother, who wishes he’d date his ex-gf, I think? (Bern is bisexual.) Or maybe just date women. So is there homophobia in this world or not? We aren’t given a good sense how Nolan’s parents feel that he is gay? It seems to wholly not discuss his foster parents barring “they are aggressively competitive, Tom makes crazy food concoctions and Marla talks to him about dating Bern.” As a whole, the parents are extremely unimportant other than they provide a home and food. Are they unusual for the area? (And knowing PA, that state can have some major issues.) Or is it common in this world? Is there a reason to not hand-hold? Do they every worry about homophobia when outside school? Do the teachers say shit? There is a lot to consider. The world-building is deeply lacking. Beyond the lack of world, we get a lot of fanfic trope writing. A lot of this I’ve seen from people on my dash who are Teen Wolf fans. I used to like the show & follow TW blogs; I’m not a massive fanfic reader (*ahem* a lot of gay fetishism), but I have read it. For series like TW, you may see what I consider “animalistic tropes;” such as tackling, growling, etc. There is a lot of this. A lot of people are tackling each other to the ground, growling, and there’s this weird moment when Bern grabs the nape of Nolan’s neck that while some men do this, it felt very strange in the moment, particularly aggressively? Because the author openly admits to writing werewolf fanfic, it feels like that is what it is. For authors who write both fanfic and seek to write professionally, this is a consideration. For a gay reader, it’s really weird for a guy to grab another guy’s “nape of the neck” affectionately. (As someone who has worked around large predators, albeit primarily felids, grabbing the neck is a sexual behavior, but that just makes this weirder.) Anyways, it really struck out as weird; just very very weird. Bern is mentioned to not be into PDA (which later in the book, they do it a fair amount it seems, that is also very weird? this happens a fair amount). 

Another part is that there is a lot of use of the word puppy. It is frequents so often that I’d have to stop reading because it was grossing me out. It sounds like that author is into puppy play. This isn’t to kink shame, but this is a YA novel and she writes werewolf fanfic. It starts seemingly, albeit weirdly innocuous with moments like “Bern was smooth and graceful while I was still growing out of my puppy paws” and “She tilted her head like a puppy” and “I followed him up the stairs like a puppy.” But it keeps happening. Then people start growling at each other and it just... Gets a very specific note. Mixed in with how smooth and hairless and Adonis-like the teens are written, especially by an adult woman fan, it feels... Well... It makes my skin crawl. I’m not saying that the author means to. I’m really not trying to be like ‘Hey, guys, sexual predator?” I really, really want to address that that is not my intention. My intention is that this compounds on itself. In the links about how the slash side of fandom can make gay men uncomfortable: this is the perfect example.  I’ve been to events with fans and found myself, barring maybe my fiance, to be the only gay man there. If I’m shipping two characters, such as when I went to a TAZ photoshoot, and my fiance and I are the only gay cosplayers, and almost the only men period, whereas a lot of women are screaming about how cute Taako is, that gets uncomfortable. It’s not about this one fandom. It’s all fandoms. Every single one has had this fetishization problem. It’s why I never entered the Lord of the Rings fandom. I was in middle school and found “my first” fandom, only to see all of the fanfic about Sam/Frodo ships and it grossed me out. As a teen boy, it creeped me out, that all these men had to be sexual to each other, and as I only came across women shipping men, it made it more and more ostracizing.  Maybe I should have addressed this earlier, but: Not all fetishization is sexual. It can be romantic, too. How (Not) to Ask a Boy to Prom’s relationships are about a teen boy who doesn’t want to date or go to prom. His sister makes him ask out Si, the big popular gay guy. Nolan/the author mocks the GSA (gay-straight alliance) club. While there are problems with some GSAs*, the author, a seemingly straight woman, is mocking an LGBT+ space. There is a chance she is bisexual; I haven’t managed to find otherwise, and that’s how this will appear to many people, as she has a husband. I will also note: a bisexual woman’s experience will differ from a gay man’s experience, and sometimes LGBT+ folks need to not speak for/over each other.  Nolan ends up fake-dating Bern due to a mistake, and there’s a bit of problem I have, with how for a good portion of the book, these gay teens “need to FAKE date”. Worse to me, is that Nolan, upon realizing he likes Bern, breaks up with him and ends up sleeping (non-sexually) in a bed with his sister, deciding to go to prom together. For a straight/cis-presenting women to write this, it’s... Got a lot of different baggage to it. Especially with how idealistic (but not for gay men) she writes the characters, it gets worse and worse. It makes the gay character seem just a little less gay. His relationship with his sister is odd. It’s not “cool” to really hang out with your sister at school; I know, I had a step sister & brother. We were all roughly the same age. If these two went to prom together in the real world? They would be mocked. Also, it really makes Nolan appear not actually gay. As a gay writer, I would have him, if not go at all, go stag. The message here is: it’s better to be straight than gay and without a boyfriend. Hence how it becomes fetishistic: Nolan’s sister, both of which are older teens (around 17-18 or so) sleep together in a bed. It may not be “coded as sexual” but it is ignorant of the history that “maybe gay men can be fixed.” They even dance at prom. This is one step below asking your mother to prom. She is still his sister. It creates a narrative that he, out of the blue, dumps his boyfriend to then sleep/cuddle with his sister and they go to prom. Again, this is seen more in fanfic: we often, especially with adopted siblings, see closeness that can become romantic or sexual. I have a fair amount of friends who are adopted and this trope style is infinitely horrifying to them. It makes them feel like that society doesn’t view them as actually family. It is also a real problem: adopted family members (especially kids) have been abused by their adopted family, as if “it’s okay, they’re not actually biologically family.”

While he does eventually get back together with Bern, it’s after prom that he does this. I don’t even know why Bern accepts him. Nolan has been truly awful to this guy. Goslee doesn’t seem to understand how tenuous gay men’s statuses are. This can be held against Nolan, if not for the simple creepy fact that he sleeps and goes to prom with his sister, that he goes to prom with a woman, he may get a lot of “But are you really gay?” comments. Especially because Nolan dates only one man before going to prom with his sister (and is the one to dump his boyfriend, who he was fake-dating).

Is there more on this I could write? Yes. I probably could, but I also have to get ready to go to a movie with my fiance. So uh... Maybe there will be a part 2? We’ll see. _______ *I personally was forced out of my college’s GSA because the group was actually gay/bisexual people having orgies. So, yea, there’s some problems with certain LGBT+ spaces and being actually open to LGBT+ folks. It was also extremely transphobic and ace-phobic.  **My point with this for clarification is that: I don’t want to be bribed with “lol this person is LGBT+ cuuuute!?” headcanon or otherwise. I am fine with that form of headcanoning, or AUs, but the idea of playing with gender identity and pulling it off as cute, especially by cis or straight people is skeevy and at best, ignorant, at worst, fetishistic.  Link List: LGBT Exploitation in Fandom: we are not here for your entertainment

Fetishizing Homosexuality

gbpt boys’ ask about women readers of mlm stories

The Mary Sue’s On The Fetishization of Gay Men by Women in the Slash Community

Why Are So Many Gay Romances Written By Straight Women?

The Lack of Published Gay YA by Gay Authors? Let’s Talk About It

[makistar2018]

How to succeed in business by being a Taylor Swift fan

Fandom can be an expensive hobby, but there are also ways to get paid for your time and affection.

By Kaitlyn Tiffany Nov 7, 2018

Taylor Swift’s very popular snake jewelry. Big Machine Records

Twenty-two-year-old financial analyst Zainub Amir moved to New York City from Albany last June, around the time that her Taylor Swift news account @SimplySFans celebrated its seventh birthday on Twitter.

The account has 124,000 followers as of this writing, but when Amir started it at the end of eighth grade, there was almost no demand for it. She was alone on Twitter as a Swiftie, she says, with “maybe 30 other fans.” It’s that early adoption of the platform that she credits with her success, and with her permanent place at the top of the Swift fan account hierarchy — it’s too late for anyone else to get this big.

Now Amir has a full-time job and responsibilities to her employer. Also: responsibilities to the 124,000 people who depend on her for news, as well as the management and tour sponsors and brand partners for the biggest pop star in the world, which regularly ask her for help promoting awards shows, limited-edition Keds, and Swift’s every move.

“It’s hard,” Amir tells me, sitting on a corner sofa in her Midtown office building, after most of the lights have gone down but the granola bar wrappers and Lipton tea bags have yet to be scooped from the floor. “The thing is it’s, like, the same thing as texting someone while you’re at work; you just have to be really fast. The whole point of an update account is getting the news first.”

“EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO SOMETIMES THE SECOND OR MINUTE YOU POST”

To help, Amir has push notifications set up from fan accounts on Tumblr and Twitter, for Swift’s friends and management and publicity team, and, obviously, for Swift herself, who has made a tentative return to social media in recent months after conspicuously vanishingand deleting thousands of posts last August.

“As soon as she posts, I make sure I put it on Twitter. You just have to be quick about it. After a while, it becomes second nature,” Amir says. She does not use Google Alerts, which are too slow. “Everything comes down to sometimes the second or minute you post.”’

That’s because Amir isn’t alone on Twitter talking about Taylor Swift anymore. There are dozens of update accounts, plenty of fans who are willing to take on the job of fandom as a second full-time position. And Swift is far from the only celebrity who draws this kind of cottage media industry around her.

Last summer, I spoke to 19-year-old Yucatán resident Armin Lizama, who runs one of the biggest Lorde fan accounts on Twitter and regularly helps professional music journalism outlets fact-check fan rumors and news items.

Last spring, Harry Styles fans organized to teach each other how to download VPNs and fake US streams of his first solo single “Sign of the Times,” hoping to game the Billboard charts. One account, @StylesPromoTeam, put out a public application to join them, which was longer than a traditional job application and required applicants to state whether they’d be able to dedicate up to 20 hours per week to the cause. This is just how modern fandom operates.

Most of these fans are not doing it to be compensated, but there is compensation to be found nonetheless — like any account with substantial followings, they can charge for sponsored posts and retweets; like any influencer a brand wants to woo, they can expect gifts and trips and special treatment; like any ambitious young person situated in an economy that celebrates optimizing every moment of your life, they can try to use hundreds of hours of self-managed, largely unpaid “fun” labor as a line item on a résumé.

“I don’t really care about how much money I make with it,” Amir says.

Nevertheless, she’ll readily call her account a business.

And as with any business, there are challenges. One is copyright: “Any time a video goes over 30 seconds and it has music or media, anything from Taylor or any of her sponsors, it usually gets picked up by copyright,” Amir explains. “Same thing with photos that photographers are taking, even if it’s Taylor’s own photographers with Getty Images.” They’ll get flagged and removed, and it only takes six or seven violations to get an account suspended, which is a challenge for accounts updating three or four times a day while an artist is on tour, or dozens of times a night when they’re performing and talking and raking in trophies at an awards show.

“Screen record has become my friend. Mainly when it’s YouTube or DirecTV Now, but I have to be careful, which is why I’ve resorted more to retweeting from the source,” she says. She tries not to push it, usually taking clips of around 10 seconds and asking permission whenever she can.

“You want to grow your reach as much as you can, but is it worth getting that copyright notice at the same time?”

All this is why Amir, like many of the other proprietors of major news accounts, has a separate account just for media, which she’ll retweet into her main account’s feed, giving up maximum engagement on her main page in favor of preserving it.

She’s had to learn how to streamline the process, trying to provide a good product without running herself off the road. “There are all these paparazzi pages you can go on and get the image itself, and then you have to delete the watermark,” she explains. “But it’s not worth [the effort] really, because someone’s just going to post it two seconds faster than you.” She’ll ask permission to repost GIFs and videos from fans at tour shows, but only if she’s sure they’re sharing something Swift hasn’t done before. She’ll engage in trending topics only if she has something to add, an image and a great quote, or a video clip short enough to not get pulled. “Otherwise, I’m better off retweeting from the actual source, even though I’m going to lose engagement.”

She had to figure all this out on her own, since other pages are competitors, jockeying for the same audience and the same engagement.

Swift is counting on her, for real. In 2012, before there were very many other major fan accounts, and before Swift’s team really used or understood Twitter, they asked Amir to be the official promotional account of the Red tour.

When Swift joined her favorite social media platform, Tumblr, in 2014, the account was run by her management and only followed five accounts — all update accounts, and one of them Amir’s. “I posted something about the fall, apple picking or something, and I had no idea anybody was reading it,” Amir recalls. “Taylor reblogged it and it was her first reblog of Tumblr, and she ended up adding this whole paragraph about how she loves the fall. So every fall, late August, September, I get so many notifications because people start reblogging that again and again and again. It’s a ritual.”

Being early to two platforms guaranteed that both Swift and her team would be aware of Amir, which means they regularly come back to her — to include her in special fan activities and to do promotion work. (She’s spent time with Swift in person three times in the past six years.)

“FOR ME, IT’S COMMUNITY FIRST; I DON’T REALLY THINK ABOUT THE MONEY.”

Amir says Swift’s management has a list of popular and reliable update accounts that it gives out to her sponsors and brands regularly dole out exclusive content or giveaway items to her and her update account competitors. Dick Clark Productions, for one, will fly fan account operators to awards shows to post updates live, as well as provide them with a stipend to support a vacation day in Los Angeles afterward.

“Either I get compensated through money or through free items,” Amir says. “Or it’s things like free tickets or perks or just being on the inside or being able to go to a release party. Sometimes it’s not directly money-related, but when it is, it’s per post or how many engagements it gets. That’s why stats or using Twitter analytics is so important — so you can say what your worth is. I’ve had it be $300 for retweeting someone before, because it’s a lot of followers and it’s huge engagement. I think the lowest I’ve done is $50.”

“It’s like another job, basically,” she says. But “it isn’t as stable as people think it is with a fan account like this. For me, it’s community first; I don’t really think about the money.”

Madame Tussauds’ Taylor Swift figure, revealed in 2014. Chelsea Lauren/Getty Images

It’s not all profit. “I bought the [last] album five times without really meaning to,” Amir says when I ask about how much fans typically spend to put their affection into practice.

Swift combated the ongoing industry-wide decline of album sales by selling two versions of a limited-edition magazine to go with Reputation last fall, each going for $20 exclusively at Target and each coming with another copy of the album. Buying extra copies of her album also helped fans improve their place in line in Ticketmaster’s controversial Verified Fan program, which sorted fans into a queue to buy presale tickets to her stadium tour.

“EVERY TIME SHE LETS YOU INTO HER LIFE, IT’S A NEW MARKETING SCHEME, BECAUSE IT’S A NEW PART OF HER LIFE THAT YOU DON’T KNOW”

“You want the magazine because you want to see into Taylor’s life; she had to have two different volumes for some reason,” Amir says. “You want the album for the code to put in your Verified Fan thing; that’s your first incentive. And your second is that you want to read these poems that Taylor never released to the world, or pictures that have never before been seen during her two-year [social media] blackout.” The Reputation merch was “trendier” and more expensive than previous Taylor merch, but “as a fan, you tell yourself that you’re just going to compromise and buy it, and you do it without thinking.”

She says she doesn’t want to criticize anyone, but she noticed that Verified Fan tickets were more expensive than regular sale tickets, and says she paid $160 (plus TicketMaster fees) for a decent seat, electing not to spend the nearly $800 it would cost to be in what Swift called “the Snake Pit” at the front of the stage.

“Every time she lets you into her life, it’s a new marketing scheme, because it’s a new part of her life that you don’t know,” Amir says. But again, none of this is criticism. Why shouldn’t a pop star also be a savvy business manager? Why wouldn’t intimacy with her be commodified? These are not contradictions, Amir argues. It’s also not a contradiction that she loves Taylor Swift and benefits financially from loving Taylor Swift.

Taylor Swift with Australian fans in 2012. Brendon Thorne/Getty Images

Because it involves people, business is almost always personal, but when it involves heroes, it’s even more so.

Amir is Muslim, and she says that made it difficult for her to watch Swift’s quiet refusal to engage with a swirling national debate about basic human rights in the wake of the 2016 election. “I really wanted her to say something, because she does say stuff at her concerts, or to you personally, and she’ll like things on Tumblr.” It’s not as if she didn’t know Swift was on her side. Still, “she never said stuff out there, outside the community, where it makes a difference.”

Swift’s longtime silence on political issues — which ended with an October Instagram postendorsing Democratic candidates for several key midterm election races in her home state of Tennessee, seemingly spurring a massive increase in voter registration in the state — was always in tension with her near-constant willingness to speak up on her own behalf. She has been more publicly involved in her business interests than any artist at her level, championing the 2016 battle against the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, which she argued gave YouTube a free pass on copyright infringement, and sitting at the center of the debate about Spotify (and music streaming payment practices in general) for years.

That’s a chapter she closed (somewhat awkwardly) during the lead-up to the release of Reputation last year, but she is still known for her litigious spirit, which she demonstrates by trademarking the names of her cats, attempting to copyright phrases like “look what you made me do,” and sending cease-and-desist letters to Etsy sellers who put her lyrics on homemade apparel.

In each of these cases, Swift isn’t really doing anything other artists wouldn’t (or don’t) do — but because she’s built a reputation as a ruthless capitalist, further news items that fit that narrative are easy to package. Each time she adds a brand to her portfolio — be it American Express or New York City — it looks cynical.

Amir doesn’t see it that way. Swift “reinvents herself just like companies innovate products, and that’s what keeps things exciting,” she says, swirling Swift’s musical evolution and personal brand metamorphosis and business strategy into one blanket compliment. She would understand, as an aspiring businesswoman who worked at a bank all through college, graduated early, moved to New York after interning at PR firms, was briefly the social media manager for a folk-pop duo, and is now looking for a way to blend financial analysis with the marketing skills she’s been honing since middle school.

“Taylor’s been a huge part of my life and the [fandom] community’s been a huge part of my life,” Amir says. “But you mature after a while; you get older. You can’t take days off work to be at an awards show.”

Vox

[blue-collects-things]

The Losers Go To Prom

Warnings: swearing, light mentions of sexism and homophobia

Requested: No

Author’s Note: Guess who has two thumbs, saw IT, and almost shat herself at an alarming velocity?? (If you guessed me, you are correct.) Of course, as a result, I was scrolling through the losers club tag on this hell site and stumbled upon this post, so give @awkward-imp​ credit for the their idea. And because I hate Stephen King’s canon, nobody has left/died/forgotten. Anywho, here are some losers take prom hcs! (Edit: this got really, really, really long {I’m not fucking kidding}, so i’m going to put an under the cut. You have been warned.)

through the rest of their middle school years and into their high school ones, the losers club remains, well, losers for the most part

however, they’re all known as bill denbrough’s friends because that boy is so popular from all the sports and clubs he does

but in their senior year, mike convinces them to go to prom despite their popularity issues

part of it could be that mike is on student council and he’s looking for some free labor in set up/clean up but mostly he wants his friends to have a good time

so in the three months leading up to the end of the school year and prom, we see our losers stressing about college, finals, and of course who they’re going to ask to prom

richie, being the little shit he is, asks every single one of the losers, plus some others and everyone knows its a joke and never takes him seriously

richie, down on one knee with a dandelion in his hand: bev, oh sweet bev, will you be my date to prom?

bev, not looking up from her book: that’s a weed, you idiot

richie, using his southern Voice: that stings, ma’am, truly it does mah de-ur. stanny boy, how bout you?

stan: in your dreams, tozier

ben wants desperately to ask bev, but he has this sinking feeling that she’ll say no in favor for someone like bill

he says as much to eddie and he laughs

like full on guffawing in the middle of study hall

ben’s like wtf? what am i missing?

and eddie says, “bill has the biggest, gayest crush i’ve ever seen on our buddy stan uris, pal”

it takes a minute for ben to process this (even though eddie used blunt wording for this express purpose) and then he laughs too

“gayer than your crush on trashmouth, eds?”

“shut up” but eddie is redder than tomatoes

so ben asks bev one day after calculus and even though he’s stuttering more than bill on a bad day, bev thinks it’s sweet and endearing

she gives him a kiss on the cheek to cut off his rambling and says yes with a smile before walking to psychology

ben, shellshocked and eyes wide as saucers, immediately pumps his fist in success the second bev turns the corner

his mom is the first to know

bev is also very happy and excited that ben asked her and she calls her own mother the first moment her father leaves their apartment

speaking of good ol’ big bill, he’s so nervous to ask stan

like, more nervous than he was when he had to debate in government

he’s super worried that because stan is jewish, he’ll be disgusted with bill and then stan won’t want to be his friend, and it’ll all go to shit

he actually goes to bev for advice because he feels most comfortable asking her about... feelings stuff than any of the other boys

she tells him that he’s a dumbass if he thinks stan will a) say no and b) stop being his friend

“i mean, have you seen the way he looks at you during lunch and chem and history and-”

“oh-k-k-hay, b-b-bev, i get ih-it”

bill is still very wary about asking

bev: *sigh*

stan, ironically, has also gone to bev for “feelings advice”

bev, under her breath: “i should start charging for my services”

stan: what?

bev: nothing, continue

stan doesn’t want to do the asking, but wants more than anything to go to prom with bill, even if it means making his father upset

bev encourages him to ask bill (bc she know that bill won’t do a damn thing unless he is 100% certain that stan likes him back)

he makes a sign (precious boy) because he can’t even comprehend saying the words aloud and drives to bill’s house when he knows both his parents and bill’s will be at work

stan takes mike with him

“just in case things go wrong” he tells mike when asking him to be his get-away driver

mike is flabbergasted because even he and haystack, the most oblivious of the group, can see that bill is totally in love with stan

when mike pulls up to the denbroughs’ house, stan looks visibly ill

he fidgets with his yarmulke, the sign, makes sure he look good before mike literally leans across his lap, opens the door, and kicks stan out of his own car, locking the door behind him

stan knocks three times on the front door before stepping back and holding the sign reading simply “prom?” in big blue letters and waits

there’s a brief moment of fear that stan tries his hardest to brush off

he reminds himself all he needs are 20 seconds of insane courage (A/N: anyone get my reference?) to pull this off

his confidence trickles away slowly as the seconds tick by without the door opening

his thoughts go i mile a minute

is he still at swim practice? no, that’s wednesday. and speech therapy is saturday. his car is in the driveway. is he- is he ignoring me?

(what stan doesn't know is that bill saw stan’s car pull up through the window and the whole ordeal, read the sign, and felt panic set in his stomach: my hair is still wet from the shower! gotta change. clean shirt? brush hair. oh god oh god oh my god oh my god ohmygod ohmyfuckinggod)

stan is about to leave until bill pulls the door open, clearly frazzled

even though he already saw the sign, bill scans the one word again carefully to make sure it’s not another illusion to trick his brain

stan    can’t        breathe

20 seconds of insane courage, stan thinks 

“bill?” he meets stan’s eyes “prom?”

bill is nodding before he can comprehend what’s going on

“yes, stanley, yes, yes, a thousand times yes”

he didn’t stutter once

he meets stan halfway in a blindingly tight hug, not stopping his talking all the while

“i was g-g-going to ask y-hoo. b-b-bev told me i-hi should. i honestly-ee can’t be-lee-ieve this. s-s-stan, are you re-al? this isn’t some tr- hmmmph!”

(stan finds another 20 seconds of courage to kiss bill quiet)

“i’ll see you tomorrow, bill” stan says agents bill’s lips before smiling  and forcing himself off the porch before he squeals with happiness and embarrasses himself

bill walks back inside with his sign to hide it in the back of closet where his parents will never look

he absently touches his lips for the rest of the evening

this is the happiest he’s been since... georgie

mike is smiling smugly in the car when stan returns

“good job, stan” is all he says, though

“thanks, mikey”

mike loves the happy smile that stan can’t seem to wipe off his face

richie wants to ask eddie and he does

several times

but eddie thinks it’s joke

“cut it out, rich. the first two times were funny, not it’s just getting old”

it stings, sure, but richie figures this is his punishment for never being serious

but he’s never been more serious about anything in his life

the only person that knows is bev (go figure) and she says the same thing she said to stan and bill: suck it up and go fucking ask him, you big baby

so he does

it’s like every other time he’s asked eddie: walking home from school

“eddie, will you go to prom with me?” he doesn’t use a Voice, he’s just richie, which is sometimes harder than the accents and impressions he does

eddie must hear this and looks up from his keds to see that richie has his eyes glued to the ground

“richie, are you still joking with me?”

richie suddenly meets eddie’s eyes and places both his hands on either side of eddie’s face

they’ve stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, two teenagers looking at each other, but they don’t care

“not with you, eds. never.”

eddie looks at richie’s eyes, still strange without his glasses even though he’s been wearing contacts for nearly three years, and sees the honesty in his baby blues

“yes, richie, i’ll go with you” eddie says and smiles lopsidedly at his grinning best friend

they hold hands the rest of the way home

mike honestly can’t find someone to go with

there’s his lab partner, linda, but she seems to be the snooty type

one day, about two months before prom, ben points out a girl staring at him from across the cafeteria

her name is june and she’s in the asian student union (founder and president) and the treasurer of student council

she’s really sweet and mike asks her on a couple of dates over the next two weeks

he asks her on the fourth date to be his prom date and of course she says yes

bev is stoked to have another girl in their group

“i still love you guys, though, so don’t worry. you’re my boys.”

richie gives her an only semi-joking hug, “thanks, bevvie. you really scared me for a minute”

(because even though he’ll never say it, he loves her a lot)

ben and richie’s mothers offer to help tailor suits and a dress for bev

bev is clueless in that department

her mother got smart and left her father but couldn’t win the custody battle because she didn’t have a steady income and, y’know, sexism in the 60s

so she doesn’t know a damn thing about makeup or hair or fancy dresses

and mrs. hanscom always wanted someone to pass her knowledge onto, so she offers to help bev and june get ready

the rest of the time passes quickly with final exams and preparing for graduation until finally the day of prom arrives

mike has succeeded in persuading the losers to help him set up the gym that friday after school and it looks amazing

the gym is swathed in blue and green tulle and streamers with a camera in the corner and glitter curtains hanging on the stage where the band will play

the losers split to the hanscoms’ place and the toziers’ house to get ready

bill, mike, stan, and richie at the toziers

ben, bev, eddie, and june at the hansoms

when ben asks his mother for help tying his tie, she literally says to him “ask eddie, i gotta go help your date” and leaves

bev is a nervous wreck and she doesn't know why

she keeps thinking it’s just ben but really is it?

recently, she’s been feeling more anxious around ben and can’t figure it our for the life of her

june has to spell it out for her: “you like him!” and bev guesses she does

the whole time they get ready, bev can’t stop thinking about how good ben will look in his suit. even if he hadn’t slimmed down and shot up another seven inches, he would’ve looked good.

when ben sees bev in her dress, he nearly passes out and eddie has to keep him upright, a particularly hard job considering that eddie is the same hight as bev: seven inches too short

ben delicately places the corsage on her wrist and she pins the boutonniere to his jacket

eddie and june smile at each other watching this interaction

meanwhile at the toziers’, stan and mike are getting ready in the living room and bill and richie are getting ready his room

bill, sitting on the edge of richie’s bed: i th-th-think i’m go-hunna p-puke

richie: not on the tux, mrs. hanscom will have my head on a plate

bill: i’m s-s-eri-ous, r-r-rich

richie, kneeling in front of bill: listen to me, billy boy, stan is waiting out there for you and you and him are going to be just fine. he got up the courage to ask you, now be a man and give him a great night.

bill: wow, eh-eddie must be r-r-rubbing oh-ff on y-you

richie, winking: you got that right

stan is fidgety in the living room waiting for bill to come down the stairs, literally wearing a hole in the floor where he’s pacing

mike: stop it, you’re giving me anxiety just looking at you

finally, richie comes down the stairs looking very dapper and at least attempting to tame his unruly hair

“let me, dear friends and neighbors, introduce the one and only bill denbrough”

and bill descends the stairs in his white suit and if angels are real, stan figures this is what they look like

when bill lays eyes on stan, he stops coming down the stairs

stan had slicked back his hair which had gotten a little longer and his hazel eyes shone with anticipation

neither can speak, but mike and richie are smiling and elbowing each other

bill finally clears his throat

“you l-look am-az-zing, st-st-stan”

stan    can’t        breathe                   (again)

“you look great too, bill”

they pin their boutonnieres to each other just as the limo pulls up

all the losers pitched in money they had gotten from working odd jobs (the diner, the drive-in theater, babysitting, tutoring, lawn mowing) to rent a limo for the evening

the four at the toziers’ pile in and head to ben’s house

richie has gotten exceptionally nervous in the ten minutes it has taken to drive to haystack’s

bill is really concerned cause he’s never seen richie so quiet

“ta-ake y-your own ad-ad-advie, trashmouth, and m-man the fu-uck u-up”

“shut the hell up, bill” but he’s smiling so bill is happy

when they get to the hanscoms’, mike and richie get out to pick up their dates

june runs out first and leaps into mike’s arms and he spins her around and plants a kiss on her cheek before sliding a corsage on her wrist

ben and bev step out next, each complementing richie and giving him a hug

lastly, eddie steps out, and richie is totally gone

“wow, eds, i- you- um”

eddie laughs “you too, rich”

eddie offers richie his hand and they walk together back to the limo

(A/N: psst, this is what they look like- ben // stan // richie // bill // mike // eddie // bev // june // god bless pinterest) 

the limo ride there is... hectic, to say the least

everyone is singing, even stan who almost never sings

bev and june are cracking jokes that make the boys laugh

it’s a really good feeling

and suddenly they’re there and handing over their tickets

they all go to the camera first while they still look nice

all of the couples go first, bill and stan and richie and eddie getting a strange look from the photographer but they ignore the obvious disgust in his eyes because they’re already having the best night of their lives

then all eight of them together. there’s three of these pictures: one where nobody is looking and smiling at each other, one where they’re all making funny faces, and the last one that actually looks nice

they all are enjoying themselves and dancing and singing and laughing and smiling

until the first slow song starts

as “can’t help falling in love” starts, couples begin to pair off

mike and june sway and smile and talk to each other softly as they dance

stan apprehensively places his arms around bill’s neck, extremely concerned for the stares they’ll likely be getting, but now it’s bill’s turn for 20 seconds of courage because he puts his hands on stan’s waist and pulls him flush against his body

stan smiles and places his forehead on bill’s and bill smiles back. they kinda just look at each other fondly for the whole dance

bev lets ben lead her away from the group and bev looks up at ben staring down at her and decides that if she has to have a staring contest with him during this dance, she’ll lose it

so she places her head on ben’s chest and listens to his heart beat and it’s so sporadic that she thinks surely ben will have a heart attack but he squeezes the hand that bev put in his lightly and she smiles against his dress shirt

richie pulls eddie toward him by the hand and delicately places a hand on his waist, being more careful than eddie thought capable

eddie reaches up (and it is quite the reach) and tangles his fingers in the hairs at the nape of richie’s neck

they avoid eye-contact

about half-way through the song, richie begins to sing softly “but i can’t help falling in love with you” and looks at eddie so piercingly that eddie gasps

they kiss and neither of them knows who initiated it, only that it’s sweet and slow and amazing

the rest of the evening goes by in a blur

bill, eddie, and mike ditch their suit jackets and roll up their sleeves

richie’s bowtie hangs loosely around his neck, untied

june removes her gloves and bev takes off her high heels

then the crowning of prom king and queen happens

it’s no surprise that bill wins prom king, because he is so well liked and even some of the teachers voted for him

but everyone is blown away when bev wins prom queen

they dance the dance and laugh at each other the whole time

(stan may or may not be a little jealous but all that goes away when they return from the dance and bill places his arm around stan’s shoulders and plants a kiss on his cheek)

after the dance ends, everyone is sweaty, their feet hurt, and they no longer have voices

they all decide the best thing to do is to go to the diner that’s open until 1am on the other side of town in their limo

they all cram into one booth

eddie holds richie’s hand under the table and absently strokes the scar on his palm

richie is so taken aback that he can’t speak

everyone’s like “trashmouth is so quiet, what’s up?” and eddie only smirks

they all order milkshakes and three orders of the big basket of french fries

that poor waitress who’s there for them

suddenly richie finds his voice and starts telling stories his Voices that are getting significantly better

when it’s closing time, the owner kicks them out, but smiles at their loud laughter on the way out

they all drive to eddie’s house, pay the limousine driver and crowd in the living room to watch movies until they all fall asleep

richie’s head is in eddie’s lap

eddie is leaned against bill’s legs hanging off the couch

bill is laying his head on stan

stan is curled up on the couch, his feet touching bev’s

bev’s hand is dangling and holding ben’s

ben is asleep with his legs crossed over mike’s

mike has his arms around june

june has her head on richie’s legs

they’re all still in their evening wear

mrs. kaspbrak finds them like this in the morning and, even though she doesn’t like the no-good friends eddie has made, can’t help but take a picture of how cute they all are

~ ~ ~

Hope you enjoyed this! I had a lot of fun writing this and if you’re reading this, thanks for trooping through this! Don’t forget to like, reblog, and comment. Got a request? Submit one here. See my masterlist here.

[crazylittlethoughts]

Moderno Sense Shoe Haul

It has been ages! And yes, there’s an exaggeration on that statement. But it does feel like it has been a long time since I have posted something here on my blog. However, here I am, I was finally able to kick my lazy ass and do a blog post. Ah, I need to give myself a pat on my back for this. We shall celebrate small victories.

Anyways, that’s not what this blog is all about. This is all about my haul before October ends which I am very much excited about!

I am a fashion sucker. May it be clothes, accessories or whatnot, I am in love with anything related to fashion. And though I don’t splurge on it as much as I wanted to, I do try to get things that I wanted and needed which helps me create my own statement and keep up with the ever changing fashion world. But if there’s one thing that I love the most about fashion, I wouldn’t be lying, it has always been shoes!

Ladies nowadays may go gaga over their makeups, bags and clothes but I will always be loyal to shoes. And this blog is all about that because after a year or so, I am finally able to buy new set of shoes. Cue the confetti because I was able to buy the shoes that I needed and that I am sure I would be using.

Even though I am someone who’s constantly broke, I still aspire to be able to buy shoes that are in all honesty way too expensive for me. One good example of this is Dr. Martens! I have been always in love with boots and most especially with boots that Dr. Martens have. They’re classic and timeless and they look so badass. Going back to my main point, though with superb quality and wonderful design, it’s just too expensive for me to purchase. I mean, I can already use that six thousand pesos to purchase different items and not just one pair of boots.

Fashionistas, like us never gives up and so we find ways on how we will be able to purchase something we really want. There are two ways for us to get items that are way expensive:

1.       Pre-loved.

We can either rummage every thrift shop or look online for a pre-loved version of the thing we wanted so bad.

2.       Alternative

Or we simply find an alternative.

There are times that I do purchased pre-loved items however I do that mostly for my clothes for shoes though, I tend to look more for alternative. Something that looks similar to what I wanted but cost way lesser.

Now, this is where Moderno Sense comes in! Moderno Sense is an online fashion shop that operates through its pretty popular Facebook page which boasts more than 600 thousand likes and followers. This shop has always been my go to shop for boots since I am pretty much a boots girl. There are wide selection of boots ranging from popular designs to Harajuko ones (you can look up there page to see what I meant). They also have sneakers, heels, flats and occasionally, some clothes.

Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post. I am not being paid to do this and everything written here is my honest opinion.

Before October ends, I was able to purchase three shoes from them which I will go through on this blog post. I ordered all of them through cash on delivery which was very efficient. Given that their headquarters is just in the same city that I am currently living, the delivery was fast. This payment option however is not available in all areas, especially those outside Manila.

They have another payment option though which is either through money remittance center or by depositing on their bank accounts. I have tried the paying through remittance center and I was also able to receive the order within two days (again, this depends where you live). A reminder though, if you do choose cash delivery, you will need to add 20 PHP for it which is not bad at all.

Anyhoo, here are shoes that I purchased from them.

NB Martin White C809

Price: 850 PHP

I have been in love with Dr. Martens boots however whenever I see the tag price I feel like the whole universe is against me. It’s so expensive and I can never bring myself to buy it even when I can. Truthfully, I rather buy other things because I can end up having more items than one pair of boots.

So, when I saw Moderno Sense in 2015, I didn’t hesitate to purchase it and I was so in love! I love wearing it and choosing clothes for it. However, that old pair of mine was damaged and I have to leave it at my old house and when I had the chance to purchase a new one, I immediately messaged Moderno Sense.

Quality

For the price, the quality is similar to the generic ones that you can find in the department stores. It is not perfect which I expected considering the price but it’s something that you can definitely wear and not worry about.

It’s light which is a plus points because I love running and walking around. The leather feels nice as well, I am hoping that it won’t peel because there are some faux leather that does that as time goes by.

Design

Not gonna lie, it’s pretty similar to Dr. Martens classic design of their ever popular boots. It is not similar to the very last detail but it’s heavily inspired to it. And I am living for that, the boots look good in anything may it be jeans or dresses. It just gives off this badass vibes.

Verdict

A must buy. If you have been wanting to get your hands in this kind of boots, now is the right time. With a price that will not put that big hole in your pocket and a quality that is appropriate for it, treat yourself and see how it will change your style.

 Alizia Camel Brown Boots G-2

Price: 850 PHP

For the longest time now, I have been eyeing Timberland boots and just like Dr. Martens, oh boy, it’s expensive. There’s just something about their design that seemed so manly. I don’t know but maybe because it looked like worker’s boots which it is. I feel like I just needed that boots in my life and I have been searching for a much affordable alternative instead of buying it with its original price.

I found something similar at Forever21 and H&M and still the price is way too high than what I am willing to give and luckily Moderno Sense happened to carry that new design now. The moment I knew about that, I quickly placed it on my shopping list.

Quality

Just like the previous one, this one is of good quality but admittedly bulkier and heavier than the previous. I am not the biggest fan of the foam like at the back of it but I do think it’s comfy. It’s just that it makes it bulky. It’s also comfortable. The suede like material looks good but with my color choice it can get dirty easily. It’s not perfect but it is better than expected. 

Design

It’s not a detail by detail copy of Timberland’s but it did get its look from the said brand. The design looks good and is very much what I have seen in the photos that they upload on their page. I am very happy with it, except the too much foam like at the back but overall, it’s pretty and wearable.

Verdict

It’s a so-so. I love the quality but there also cons with it and if you are okay with that then you can buy it but if you are not into wearing bulky and a little weight on your feet then I suggest you try a different design or product especially if this is your first pair of boots.

  Bonnie Velcro Strap White Sneakers 8805

Price: 650 PHP

This is my second time ordering at Moderno Sense and in my first order, I bought two pairs of boots so, this is my first time trying out their sneakers. They have interesting and beautiful design for sneakers all of which seemed to have high soles which I don’t mind and I actually like. I am never a sneaker person, one of Dan’s frustrations with me. Sneaker isn’t really my thing, I am more of a boots person, obviously.

However, with my current style I realized how it is necessary for me to have sneakers. I am looking forward to buying a different sneaker to be honest, we are actually planning to go buy something much pricier but then we somehow stumbled upon their sneaker collection at Moderno Sense and the rest is history.

Quality

It’s of good quality but not the best. As, I always tell Dan, you get what you pay for. The material is not thick that’s why it’s light. The material is a little bit of a downer for me good thing the design looks okay. The size was big for me, I got size 38 which a European size and according to their chart that would be size 7 in US/PH chart yet it’s a little big for me that I can feel my ankle almost slipping off it.

Design

The design was okay although it’s a little far from the photo they have on their page. On the photo on their page it has a much wider Velcro tape but the one I got has narrow Velcro tapes much to my disappointment however I still think that the design is pretty. I am not much into sneakers so I am not sure if the design was a copy of some brand.

Verdict

If you are looking for something affordable with a good quality then yes, you can buy this. It’s comfortable and pretty. It will go with a lot of clothes and it’s very light as well. This is my current go to shoes (my Keds can finally rest). 

My second shopping at Moderno Sense, I can say is satisfying. I am very happy with what I received and I love them a lot. Shoes can change the mood of the outfit that’s why I’ve always believe that it’s a crucial part of the whole outfit. And with this haul, it allowed me to experiment with different mood and look which I am excited to show you in my upcoming blog posts. Yes, there’s definitely more to come!

If you want to give Moderno Sense a try you can go their Facebook page here and check at their products. If you decided that you wanted to purchase you can just chat them and they will tell you what you need to do to place an order. They are very accommodating and will answer all of your questions part of why I love them as well.

If you did order tell me below at the comment section or if you know another shop where I can buy affordable shoes, I would love to know as well so you just need to leave them at the comment below.

Cheers!

[lbat1901]

2019 Review

I’ve never posted an end year review on Tumblr. I only post on either Facebook and DA, buuuuut it’s time for a change.

Also I couldn’t decide whether or not to separate it into two parts. I decided to say f**k it and post the whole thing.

Anyway, welcome to the first ever year end review where I recap 2019. Just a side note, I am doing this so you won’t have to. Also there a lot of ranting in this.

Quick thing to know is that I can become very brutal when comes to ranting. Trust me they’re not pretty. Oh and I tend write these things like at either towards the end of June and mid July about the stuff that just happened before coming back to it in late October and early November while adding even more information. That’s how things work.

Anyway with that out of the way, I present to you, Lbat1901’s review of 2019 broadcasted worldwide on this day of December 31st (or either the 1st of January and/or December 30th depending on your timezone).

2018 was a good year despite a few thing here and there. Now 2019 was a tad bit better but we lost the OG actor of Chewbacca from Star Wars. Well this isn’t a bad thing, there’s another actor to play the part.

If deaths weren’t always there to make a year bad, then it would be a person’s own downfall. I’m talking about the downfall of the one and only ProJared. Oh god….when I heard the news that he and his wife were filing for a divorce, it wasn’t good at all. Well it was bad at first, but it got worse when his ex-wife stated that he cheated on her. That took me by surprise, but I was all like: “Ah well. Things can’t get any worse than that, right?”. Unfortunately things did got much much worse.

ProJared was reported for doing some sexual activity on Tumblr. He actually DMed a minor and said some explicit stuff to them. Oh boy….that was a shocker. Due to this, everyone and his fans couldn’t find it in their hearts to forgive him. By the way ProJared at the time reached the milestone of 1,000,000 subscribers. That…later went down. A couple of months later, ProJared posted an apology on Twitter which didn’t make any sense. In reality doing that kind of stuff like that could land you in some legal troubles and you won’t be able to recover from it.

It really sucks and it hurts me a lot when it should be considered that ProJared is one of my favorite gaming channels on YouTube and one of my inspirations for all that sweet comedy gold. His videos are so good along his random commentary and jokes. Plus him working together with PeanutButterGamer, another YouTuber that I like, gave out some great positive vibes of collaboration. It’s going to take me a very long time to get over this and find it in my heart to accept his apology, but for now, I’m taking a break from ProJared.

…Aye I’m just kidding! It turns out that in late August, he uploaded a video explaining what really happened which means I can forgive him. I rate ProJared’s explanation video: “a fixed reputation out of 10.”

Another thing that happened was the suicide of another well known YouTuber that I like, that goes by the name of Etika. You see Etika is known for his reaction video especially when it comes to stuff like Nintendo such as Smash Bros. His DLC reveal reactions were priceless and hilarious. At the time, I never knew he had mental issues since it wasn’t clear onto why he always acts up giving off this destructive behavior. I’ve always believed that he did this for to be funny, but now I look back at it, his reactions were a bit too much. Shockingly before his death, he was went to some mental place and even came out from suffering from depression.

Soon afterwards, his family and his fans all reached out to him, but Etika pushed them all to the side. After that, he released a video saying how sorry his was shortly before he took his own life out. When I first heard about it from IGN, I didn’t believe it. But after awhile it turned out to be true. Etika really did killed himself.

I’ll say this once: killing yourself isn’t an option. Sure it maybe a solution to end your problems but in reality it makes everyone around you fall in deep despair. This is coming from a person who had depression in the past along with some forms of PTSD and schizophrenia. If you’re suffering from depression don’t turn down help. There’s always a light at the end of tunnel waiting for you to go towards it. Don’t stop waking to it. And Etika if you’re reading this, from wherever you might be, I hope you’re doing better than you were before since your now considered to be free from your troubles. All of us are going to see you again. Even though I haven’t meant you in person, you’re still a cool guy to me. Stay awesome.

Okay enough of the heavy feels. You all know what’s coming up next. It’s the part where I rant about the things that have happened this year. And hey, new people, you get to have a front row seat for this. The ranting part always gets my reviews a whole lotta views, making them somewhat popular. Here we go!

Alright…I’ll get this part out the way. Is it just me or was it that January 2019 was a very painful month to get through? No? If you’re living in a part where it’s warm everyday for the full entire year, good for you. You don’t have to suffer. But….can we like trade places? I want 90 degree weather all year long. Why you such lucky things. January, according to parts of the world that snow, is considered to be one of the slowest yet worst months of the year. Plus it doesn’t help that fact that it’s still winter and it’s the first month. I have always believed that January is a very slow month, but January 2019….oh my lord, it was brutally slow. Also January is also known to be the month of severe depression since nobody can hold onto their New Year resolution.

January 2019 felt like a drag. Plus I was still lingering to some of my depression after trying to recover from it after November 2018. It was a really bad time for me even though November is usually fast, but it felt I was being stabbed repeatedly. January 2019 was no different. Oh and don’t come to me stating that February comes after January and that it’s a fast month. That is true, but 2019 had to drug up February with depression pills making that a month of total despair. At least once it hit March 2019 things got better and much smoother.

January and February 2019, umm…what the f**k happened to you? January, I don’t expect anything magical about you, but February 2019, my god, you were supposed to be a better month. You had one job and failed at it that’s for sure.

This year’s review would like to take the attention and put it on Venezuela for once. During the first half of the year, many countries around the world has talked about the crisis in Venezuela. Venezuela is known to be a country in South America to have an oil industry which helps the country be successful. The current president is Nicolás Maduro and let’s be honest here, he’s a horrible person. Why? It’s because all of the things that he has done were quite questionable and he has said some controversial things mostly being related to storages. So far there has been several riots, people getting killed in some of those riots, nobody can get any food or medication due to power outages. It continues to get worse as time goes by. Most Venezuelans fled the country because it becoming a sh*thole and I don’t blame them. I would be fleeing from the country too if I can’t get anything. As I said before, countries around the world have been talking about the issues happening in Venezuela. There are some countries that support Maduro while other countries such as the US supports Juan Guaidó who vows to oppose Maduro. This kinda triggers the 2019 presidential crisis in Venezuela; however Guaidó has been given support by 54 countries as of June 2019. Although there is some competition, nobody should be getting in the way since this is Venezuela’s fight and it’s basically their freedom of speech. They must fight the powers that be.

What’s coming up next is something that I refuse to ignore. Article 13 getting passed. You heard that right folks, they did it. They actually f**king did it. In March 2019, the EU were having a debation on whenever or not to pass Article 13. If you don’t know, the EU created a whole bunch of rules for each country in Europe to follow. Some are good and some are just plain stupid. Article 13 is kinda like Europe’s version of Net Neutrality…only if it were on steroids. Article 13 has some tight restrictions but the most controversial thing to come from is that it kills off anything that has to do with copyright. Anything like music, video games, and of course memes won’t exist and guess what? Those motherf**kers in the EU actually said “f**k it!” and let the thing pass and all thanks to this lovely son of a b*ch, Axel Voss

*sighs heavily*

Axel Voss…why? Why? Just why? Why would you say yes? Months before the voting in March, you were supposed to be hope. I trusted your word. I thought you knew what to say, but you had to say the complete opposite. And do you want to know what my reaction is? Do you really want to see it? Oh I’ll give it you you. Here is goes. All I have to say is….wow, you really f**ked everything up big time and here’s my message towards you all:

F**k the EU! F**k Article 13! F**k everyone who allowed to let this thing get approved and have it take effect two years later! And finally, f**k you Axel Voss! F**k you all! I hope all you will burn in hell for this.

Now it’s time for the star of the show and the main topic I talk about every year, Trump.

Oh my where I do even begin? 2019 was the year on how low Trump can go as a president and as a person. Well he already is low.

I know that there’s a huge like and dislike ratio with this man. If you support Trump and would like to dismantle any argument that I make that is totally against everything he says and does, then that’s great! Now do me favor: GO F**K YOURSELF!!!

I had enough of this man and I am sick of this nonsense! Hell I’ve been sick of it already. He’s done way too much and he’s been tripping all over the place as well.

Why are there still people out there supporting this guy? Like seriously, what is wrong with you people?

I have a feeling that you’re going to say this: “What makes him bad to you? He basically done a lot in the past three years. He lowered my taxes so I won’t have to pay that much”.

Um excuse me? Does it look I f**king care if you don’t have to pay that much for taxes? Abso-f**king-lutely not. I don’t give a sh*t if you’re paying less in taxes along with telling me that it’s raining tacos. Must I remind you that this man ordered a government shutdown for the first part of the year which, bear in mind, lasted 30 days all because he wanted a wall to be built between the Mexican and American borders? Let’s not forget that the president of Mexico already said no to paying that wall.

So yeah, Trump was throwing a tantrum over it. Why not you just build a wall of Legos? It’s cheaper.

The more I think about this, the more I pay attention to the audience in Trump’s rallies. What do I see, I hear you ask? Nothing but basic white people and that’s exactly my point. In most of Trump’s rallies, you don’t see any black, Hispanic, Asian, or Somalian people in the stands. That’s because would they support Trump? All you see is just white people and the majority of them have blonde hair and blue eyes.

They’re not just any white people, they are the ones with the guns, Trump hats, the pick up truck, and the Confederate flag. They are also known as those die hard rednecks that love to spread hatred and racism. I do have to admit that I love rednecks with their Southern accents and charm (expect for the racism), but not the rednecks that love an orangutan that cares about himself and money.

This orangutan is also businessman who seems to have an obsession on running a business to the ground which is exactly what he’s doing to America. Plus he doesn’t think that global warming is real. Uh huh, you might want to tell that to California and its many wildfires, the farmers who had so much rainfall this year and can’t sell their crops due to tariffs, and pretty much to the entire world or you can just act like an idiot which leads into me calling you, and say it with me, a whiny little b*ch.

Oh Trump honey, you and you’re little friends are in so much trouble when it hits January because you’ve got impeached and you were basically whining on Twitter about it. All I heard was doom and gloom and the sounds of a baby crying. Awww….does little Trump want his nappy wampy? Might as well tell your queen Mike Pence that you need one, because you’re losing this chess game.

I can’t get the image of Trump showing off a map on where Hurricane Dorian was going to hit out of my head. He may got the part on where it was going to hit Florida right, but he pointed out that it was going to hit Alabama. Technically that map was outdated and Hurricane Dorian didn’t hit Alabama, but he didn’t say that he was wrong. Instead he just circles on where the hurricane was going to hit with a white sharpie and had a proud look on his face saying “Look what I did, daddy. I’m smart”. He pretty much made the entire state of Alabama fall into a panic.

He was so proud of himself that he phone called his best friend Putin about it. I swear that Putin has something on him and the reason why he wanted Trump to win is so that he can get Trump to do whatever he wants. Trump is basically Putin’s b*ch.

Plus Putin rewrote the Russian constitution which Trump doesn’t even seem to care about America’s own constitution at all. Even his own party members don’t care about it. They seem to care about the 2nd amendment more and it’s a dying shame that all of them will be voted out of office when 2020 hits. Can’t wait for it.

Unfortunately, when there’s a new president, there’s going to be a lot to fix since no one trusts America anymore since Trump ruined everything especially getting out of that deal with Iran. That had to be the most dumbest thing that he’s ever done. Big mistake, Trump.

All he did was claim that Obama gave them money? No he didn’t. The agreement was to see what America was giving to Iran along with unfreezing their money just so they feed their people. But no, blame everything on Obama because why not.

Honestly the current Republican party blame things that happened on former presidents and the Democrats. People also say that the Democrats have gone way too far onto the left, but here’s the thing, the Republicans were the party that actually had the balls of steel, but now they’ve gone completely off the rails allowing their own president to break the constitution just get information on a political rival from a foreign leader which is a violation and illegal. Do the Republicans seem to care about rules being broken? Of course not. What are these people on exactly? Dope? I would sure love to have some of that just so I won’t have to deal with crap.

Most of my year end reviews on what Trump did is hard. Why? It’s because he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. Again, why is there people out there who support this man? He’s a crook. You might argue with me that he’s a businessman. And? You’re point is? Listen, how can he be a businessman when filed for bankruptcy several times? That’s not a good businessman, that’s a bad one. When are you people going to get that through your thick skulls?

Can you imagine if it were Obama doing the crap that Trump had some so far? Oh god, the Republicans would have his head. The Republicans now? Nah, they don’t want to bother since they don’t want to lose their power. Ahh….that’s too bad, you’re going to be losing that during the senate trail next year.

Speaking of Alabama, they were the first state to pass an anti abortion law, but guess what? Women don’t know if their pregnant in six weeks so why bother. Oh wait, I keep forgetting that the American government is being run by old white men that like taking a giant step back in time where woman didn’t have any rights. Back in the 1960s, doctors wouldn’t tell women about their health but only told it to their husbands. Yeah that’s right, women weren’t treated as as people and it was pretty messed up. Now a few decades before that time period, women couldn’t walk around unless they were with their husbands. Can you imagine that being written in law in this current time period? It would be f**ked up even though it was back then and it still exist in other countries to this day. What’s even worse is that women weren’t taught how to read or weren’t sent to school. That was centuries ago mind you.

2020 is going to be the start of whole new decade. The 2010s weren’t that bad, but it was till the near end were it got bad. 2020 is going to be the year of adios Trump.

Anyway, this has been Lbat1901 reporting last time in 2019. See you in 2020.

[kayura-sanada]

What I’m Working On

I got tagged by @remsyk-blog to post the basics of what I’ve been working on recently, and... wow, okay, so there’s a lot of stuff on my backburner, haha!

Firstly, it’s necessary to note that I have nearly filled an entire spiral notebook with prompt ideas I want to write. (The chances of me ever finishing those are slim. I could live to one hundred and get only a fraction done, probably. But I’m sure gonna try!) So, though I don’t know if it counts, I’ll start with:

1) My Prompt List I have 49 (and yes, for the sake of this, I counted - 9 Stony, 6 Merthur, 12 Solavellan, 14 FenHawke, and 8 Other) prompts in my notebook right now that I haven’t even started. Every once in a while, I look through the book, because I really want to write them, but I’ve promised myself to finish some of the things I’ve started first. We’ll, uh, see how that goes?

2) Ashes and Phoenixes (WIPBigBang) Since I was working on my WIPs, anyway, I decided to take part in the WIPBigBang. Shockingly, I’ve nearly managed to complete this work because of it; I only have editing to finish, and then it’s done. The story went from ~3500 words to over 21k (because it is physically impossible for me to write short stories, sigh.)

3) For Good This story is a Drageon Age 2 sort of version of Memento Mori, come to think of it, haha! It follows the storyline of DA2 while focusing on the romance between Fenris and my Hawke, Azzan. The only problem with writing this is my need to replay the game and get the videos (so that I can properly reference everything that happens). I’m also playing it as Azzan Hawke, which means I am about 95% healer and only 5% fighter. To give people a hint, it took me an actual, literal half-hour to fight the Arishok.

4) Stony Stories I always try to get a few short stories completed before the next BINGO fill, so that I have a few to work with when the time comes. But (and I can’t stress enough how this always happens with me) several of the stories got long. Your Wound, My Sutures has been broken up into a few pieces so I can get through it, and it’s already over 6k. The Invasion is over 13k and has hardly gotten anywhere. Iron Guide is over 63k. It never ends.

5) Merthur Stories These have actually taken a backseat; I’ve completed two of the five Merthur WIPs I have, but I haven’t completed any of the seven Stony ones. I need to focus on finishing some Stony goodness!

6) Monthly WIP Challenge This is the reason I’m working on my WIPs! @capsing and I have been working on our unfinished stories, sharing our progress every month. It’s been a great incentive to not only keep writing, but write on stories that I used to love. It reminds me why I liked them in the first place. A few of these, however, I added simply because it would be nice if I did work on them, but they are not works I’ll be focusing on. This includes my long-dormant Suzalulu fic “Only the Forgotten” and my BeastMaster series, “Season 4.”

6) Original Works I have several, but the one I’m focusing on the most right now is Symbiosis, a story I’ve been working on for over a year. I finished writing it, only to realize I hated most of what I’d written. I’m now in the process of rewriting the entire thing, haha...

7) 15 Untold Loves Challenge This is a challenge I made for myself, so it’s a definite backburner, as well. I want to write stories for pairings I’ve neglected, ones that I’ve loved for years but haven’t written for because - well, because they aren’t popular enough, and you don’t get much feedback, if any. But I still want to see more in these fandoms, and if I want to see more, then I need to be more.

8) SoRiku Marathon Fic Finally, I’m replaying all of the Kingdom Hearts games because I want to go into this story idea with as much knowledge as possible. Now, I think we can all agree that the plotline of Kingdom Hearts has f**ked off to parts unknown, getting crazier and crazier as it goes along, but I want to at least keep it all in mind as I write my own story. Right now, however, it’s mostly just an idea that’s been festering.

So that’s it! Summed up, at least, ehehe... As for tagging people - I have no idea who hasn’t done this, so this is a callout to everyone who hasn’t! Show off all your hard work! Also, I haven’t seen @capsing post something like this, so get up on stage and show us what ya got, soul sis!

[cambriomusic]

Mike Small Interview

Mike Small is a musician from Toronto, Canada. He was a founding member of the Meligrove Band, and now plays bass for a number of bands. CamBrioMusic.com is delighted to present the following interview. It has been condensed for length considerations.

Cam Brio (CB) = Thanks so much for making the time to be here. How did the documentary about the Meligrove Band come about?

Mike Small (MS) = We were playing a show and a group of students wanted to interview us for a video project. We had a lot of fun with them, and not long after they contacted us again and wanted to make a full-length documentary about a band. They ended up capturing a year of some bad stuff that happened with us. We had our bus break down in Florida and we were stuck in Orlando for a week. They weren’t able to come down and shoot that part. We had two bus breakdowns during the overall time of filming, and I think they composited them both into one story for the sake of continuity. It was December 2010 when we were stuck in Orlando, and we didn’t know when we’d be able to leave. The bus breakdown shown in the movie was in Reno, Nevada. In Montreal we had a belt snap on it. Eventually, we sold it to a soccer team. (laughs)

CB = In the documentary, a lot of Toronto-area bands cite the Meligrove Band as an influence, how did it feel to hear that?

MS = It’s weird, but some if it we already knew because bands tell each other that kind of stuff. I remember at the Montreal festival where we met the guys from Tokyo Police Club, their keyboardist Graham came and sat at our picnic table in the band area and told us what an influence we were on them. The very first comment on our band’s Myspace page, when we had that about a million years ago, was teenaged Graham saying, “I’m going to have a band and get huge, and we will let you open for us.” (laughs) It came true.

CB = Who are some of your musical influences?

MS = A lot of my early bass playing life comes from Paul Simonon from The Clash. Around that time too, I would say Klaus Flouride from the Dead Kennedys. Mike O'Neill from The Inbreds was an influence, but it wasn’t until recently that I started to figure out his fun chords. At some point I got really interested in the Neil Young album “Harvest.” The bassist plays grooves only on the kick drum, and was otherwise staying out completely. The bass becomes a physical presence that controls the volume of the song. Before listening to “Harvest” I would just play constantly on our songs, but when bass players do that songs have no dynamics. But now I find that with bass, not playing is a part of playing. You’re deciding what the dynamics of the songs are. A lot of bassline ideas come from me walking around with the new song I had to play on, in my head. I’d go home and try to figure out what I was hearing in my head. Then I’d go and record and change it around again, that’s generally the process. Two other guys who influenced my playing are Robert Sledge, who played in the Ben Folds Five, and Derek Tokar, who led the Toronto band Radioblaster. Both of them played a Gibson bass with a Russian big muff distortion pedal. They got me into really fuzzy bass you could play on high strings and sound almost synthy, and I definitely put that to use on almost every Meligrove album and anywhere else I could get away it with. (laughs)

CB = Funny connection here, I went to the same high school as you. Did you play a lot of school events?

MS = Yeah, in a sense. Before the Meligove Band formed, I didn’t know Jay or Darcy at all; they had their own band. Meligrove started because the band backing the school choir had all graduated, and the teacher who ran the choir knew that the three of us played instruments, so she approached us to take over. Then the three of us became the school liturgical band, before we were the Meligrove Band. When grade 12 ended, their bass player was leaving so they asked if I would start playing with them. Are you familiar with Sandy from the band Fu*ked Up?

CB = Yeah, for sure.

MS = She went to the same high school and had her own punk band called SNI. If I said no to Jay and Darcy, they were going to ask Sandy to play in the band next. In a sense, Sandy has me to thank for being in Fu*ked Up. (laughs) So when high school ended, that’s how I joined the band. I remember that the three of us went to a Treble Charger concert at the Opera House and that was the first time we all hung out. Side note: I’ve become a freelance bass player for hire. Do you know Rich Aucoin the East Coast singer?

CB = Don’t think I know him.

MS = Well, he sent me a message asking if I would play a bunch of shows with him starting in Ottawa in two weeks. I said yes, and my first show with him was at the Ottawa CityFolk Festival. We were in this arena and there was an outdoor stage next to it. Bush, Live and maybe Our Lady Peace were playing, and I don’t really like Live but they were a lot of fun. (laughs)

CB = Did you ever play with The Cybertronic Spree?

MS = No, but I did make their website. For a while they were getting a different friend to appear on stage as “Weird Al” Yankovic with them. At their very first show I was their first “Weird Al.” They play the ‘80s Transformers soundtrack and there’s a “Weird Al” song on it, that’s why they get someone to play him. Did you see that Kickstarter they did that got over $100,000?

CB = I missed that one.

MS = They asked for something like $15,000 to make an album and they raised way more. They planned to roll all that money into their live production, and were going to go on a huge tour this summer but obviously now can’t. Right before this Kickstarter they were going to play the Gathering of the Juggalos and asked me go to and be their tour manager and merch person. It didn’t work out, but right after that discussion they did this massive Kickstarter. If they ever ask me again, I know they can afford me. (laughs)

CB = In the Meligrove Band you guys always seemed to do your own thing and not try and find into a particular “music scene.” Did you actively try and stick to your own style?

MS = Yeah, I would say that’s accurate.

CB = Do you think that sticking to your own style helped the band’s longevity?

MS = In a sense, yeah. Often in a band your longevity is decided by the public. If in the popular imagination you are an example of a certain style and then that style falls out of favour, you kind of get dragged down with it. I think a lot of music scenes can emerge in an organic social way. A scene may center around an arts school, for example. Where we grew up there was an arts high school and the teenage music scene there was amazing. When we started trying to play in Toronto, we didn’t know anyone and had to exist outside of those social connections. We also always took a while to write songs and record albums, so if we followed trends then the trend would be long gone by the time we put something out. We may have been influenced by things that were current in an organic way, but we never sat down and said, “this is what’s hot right now, so let’s do it.”

CB = Are the other guys in the Meligrove Band playing in other groups now?

MS = Brian and Darcy have a band together. They recently put their album on Spotify. The band is called Quite Nice. Jay has been writing music. He’s been mixing a band’s record and it sounds awesome. He actually mixed the last Meligrove album all by himself. It’s my favourite sounding record we made. I was playing in a live karaoke band for a little over two years. That was really busy, around 3 – 5 gigs a week and a 4-hour set on stage. I have a garage rock band called MAX that’s with Dave Monks and Nick McKinlay. We’re just finishing up an album right now. I have this band called Bankruptcy and we had finished an album and were sitting on it for a while, unsure of how to put it out. We put it online, and then one day later a record label contacted us and wanted to put it out on vinyl. We deleted it to give it time to get pressed. We were supposed to get out and play this summer, but it’s too bad that now we can’t now.

CB = Who are some of the bands you’re listening to right now?

MS = It’s rough because I was playing live karaoke until last fall and it messed with my taste in music. I had to keep track of over 400 songs because we didn’t know what people would choose to sing. So I was constantly listening to a playlist of our repertoire, keeping all 400+ songs fresh in my mind, hardly ever listening to anything else. Lately I’ve been more into The Inbreds. I got this fun ‘70s synth record called “Plantasia.” It was sold in some plant shop in the ‘70s in LA and was reissued last year. The idea is that it’s scientifically engineered to make your plants happier. It’s really just some synth nerd getting stoned and having fun with his synths. It’s hilarious and really fun to listen to. I really like that Neil Young is dipping into his archival stuff and releasing really nice records of shows from the ‘60s and ‘70s. Two months ago I listened to “Enter the Wu-tang” for the first time and I couldn’t stop listening to that for three days. (laughs)

CB = Do you have any favourite concert films or music documentaries?

MS = I liked one called “Last Days Here.” It’s about the guy from Pentagram. They were this young, promising, Sabbath sounding band in the early ‘70s. Now, he’s in his 60s living with his parents and he’s got a lot of problems. If you think of some people you know who’ve kept trying music for too long and then extend it over an entire lifetime into old age, that’s what this movie shows. There is a concert film I love, it’s Canadian, and called “This is What 110% Smells Like.” It’s about B.A. Johnston. He’s pretty much lived on tour in Canada almost constantly since around 2004. There’s a great Globe and Mail article calling him “the new Stompin’ Tom Connors.” We took a pay cut to play a show with him in Sudbury. We drove him to Toronto from Sudbury so that he could take the bus to Hamilton. More recently, B.A. made a TV show about Hamilton as a tour guide. I know it’s fictional, but I recently watched “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story” and I loved it. I remember when “Walk the Line” the Johnny Cash movie came out I hated it, and felt lonely about it. I feel like “Walk Hard” makes fun of all the stuff that I hated about “Walk the Line” when it came out, and I thought, “wow, I’m not alone.” (laughs)

CB = Did the Meligrove Band play last year?

MS = Yeah, we played two songs at a Sloan tribute show. The band The Golden Dogs organized it. I asked if I could join them on bass for a couple of songs, and they came back and asked if the Meligroves would get back together to play. To my surprise everyone was immediately into it. We were just one small part of the show, but it felt really good.

[connorrenwick]

Exploring the Future of Workspaces with Work/Space STORY

Founded by Rachel Schechtman, STORY is a multi-functional concept located in Manhattan, New York. It acts as an installation space, co-working space, retail shop, and brand showcase that changes every 4-8 weeks to explore a new topic or “story” like beauty, home for the holidays, or, most recently, workspaces. In a special edition of STORY, Schechtman collaborated with Blu Dot to create the Work/Space STORY to explore the future of workspaces, so we caught up with both her and Blu Dot to get their opinion on how design affects the workplace and which items are particularly buzz-worthy in store…

Why did you pick this neighborhood?

RS: I wanted an area that was up and coming and that reflected what I hoped the brand and business would represent – discovery and doing things first!

Where did you get the name for the store?

RS: The store is like a living magazine – we change it entirely every 4-8 weeks, so we wanted a name that expressed our narrative driven approach and something that was both versatile and engaging.

Has it changed much since it opened? How?

RS: The model is the same as it was when we opened however our capabilities and projects definitely include a range of things I would have never imagined. For example, we did a collaboration with Nickelodeon (Remember When STORY) and created 100 exclusive items with brands ranging from Keds to Smashbox to Sugarfina and Rolex.

In your opinion, how can good design affect the workplace?

RS: I think design has everything to do with workplace.

Blu Dot: There’s no doubt that good design in the workplace makes people feel better. It takes a lot of time and commitment and thoughtfulness to create a well-designed workplace. And I believe that the visible result of that effort sends a message that the people who work in that space are important, and that the work being done in that space is important. It makes people feel valued.

What’s your favorite item in the store right now?

RS: The Real Good chairs from Blu Dot– I’m getting them all for my apt!

What is this season’s theme?

RS: Work/Space STORY is inspired by our interest in exploring the future of work, how we work! We teamed up with Aaron Dignan from the Ready, to identify an approach and focus. The more I researched, the more inspired I became from discovering the work of data artist Georgia Lupi who ended up doing an entire interactive installation in-store to teaming up with architect David Dewane who debut his ‘Eudaimonia Machine’ floor plan for office spaces.

Are you carrying any new products and/or undiscovered gems you’re particularly excited about?

RS: I love brands that are equally functional and aesthetically pleasing – also things you cannot get everywhere! Some of my favorites from the current STORY include Juniper Books – the American Landscape is especially special, Ratio Coffee Maker – it is beyond stunning and makes and insane cup of coffee and lastly Grovemade, handmade wood desk accessories that are irresistible.

What’s been a consistent best seller?

Blu Dot: The Strut Table collection has been in our assortment for quite some time and it is perennial favorite – functional, minimal, solid. But the Field Lounge Chair is the new, popular kid on the block. It’s outselling all of other lounge chairs, and just about every other item as well.

Any special events/exhibits/pop ups/collaborations coming up?

RS: It’s a secret – if you follow us on Instagram or sign up for email on thisisstory.com you will be the first to hear!

Do you have anything from the store in your own home?

RS: I have many things around my house from the store – ranges from skincare from Beauty STORY in my bathroom to jewelry, vases and a range of other things.

What’s one lesson you’ve learned since opening your store?

RS: Don’t be afraid to ask for help or say you don’t know. Too often we think that since we are adults and have a job it isn’t ok to do that or people will think less of us, but at the end of the day you will learn, develop new skills and ultimately produce stronger work.

If you could give one piece of advice to someone who wants to follow a similar path to yours, what would it be?

RS: There is greater risk in not taking risks.

STORY is located in Chelsea, New York City at 144 10th Avenue at 19th Street. To stay up-to-date with the next showcase, visit thisisstory.com.

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[atypical60]

BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND. MANY HAVE WONDERED.  MANY HAVE ASKED.

HERE YOU GO!

A couple of readers are curious as to how Bonaparte and I came to be a couple and I thought it would make for a fun post so here goes! I hope you enjoy….

Joséphine de Beauharnais and Napoleon Bonaparte

Seriously Josephine. Get outta my way. The Frenchman is mine!

The story of little loud-mouthed girl from New York and baguette loving little French Parisian boy….

My divorce wreaked some havoc—especially havoc in the form of a horrific financial downfall.   My oldest son was away in Austin at University of Texas. My middle son, my daughter and I were now housed in a small apartment. I may have lost our home, but at least there was a roof overhead.

It wasn’t easy. The water and electricity were constantly being shut off—so much so that the staff at Trenton Water Authority knew me by my first name. But—they were always pleasant and I always managed to scrape up enough cash to have the water put back on. Ditto the electricity.

I’ll skip some other bad stuff that I don’t want to get into. But—after a while, it was time to get back on the social train. I was signed up for a “trial” of 30 days on “Match.com”. I had two meetings over coffee, but just figured I was better off alone. Anyway, a couple of days before my “trial” ended, I figured I would peruse through the pickin’s.

Yes. We met on Match.com!

I stopped at a picture of a man in a light blue crew-neck sweater. I could tell it was wool and not polyester—that grabbed my shallow attention. Then I noticed this gentleman’s eyes were as blue as the color of the sweater. This gentleman appeared to be very distinguished. Something I was not. In fact I was sitting at the computer in granny pants and an old, holey T-Shirt.

I then went on to read his profile. He liked art (check); New York City (check, check, check); fine food (sorta check—I was cooking for teens but I love me a great and fancy meal!) and tennis (uncheck). OK –so three out of four wasn’t bad.

I love art..especially Renoir, so it was a good thing Bonaparte had a good appreciation–I mean, he’s French afterall…..

Given the fact he loved my home town, was also a plus!

Then I noticed where he was born and raised. Paris, France.

I had heard that Parisians were the rather “difficult” of all the Frenchmen–and women!

Oh.

Now, you need to understand something—I fed into that whole “Oh-the-French-hate-Americans” thing. Yes. After 9/11 I had a propensity to refer to “French Fries” as “Freedom” fries.

Yup! I don’t necessarily like fried potatoes, but I did refer to them as “freedom” fries. These days I just call them “Frites”!

I learned every single stereotypical image about the French from cartoons and TV shows.

Yes. My educational on French stereotypes were from “great” sources…

…although sometimes Pepe Le Pew is easier to understand.

However, something inside me, perhaps it was the contrarian or the curiosity, made me write a little blurb to him. It went something like this:

“So, you like art. Impressionism? It’s my fave. I love Renoir. You like NYC? I lived there for many years!” “You got an accent?” (THAT was a dopey question)

He wrote back. We spent a bit of time writing back and forth. I finally wrote to him that my “trial” was about to expire and I gave him my email address and told him to just shoot me an email.

We emailed back and forth and he asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him. He called. He had a very heavy accent that was somewhat hard to understand. But, we kept talking.

He asked me out—that last weekend of November 2004. Actually, Thanksgiving weekend. I explained to him that I could not make it because my daughter had a regional Irish Dance competition in Philadelphia and would be busy from Thanksgiving evening through that Sunday. (Yay! Party time at the Mid-Atlantic Regional Oireachtas!) Anyone involved in Irish Dance is fully-aware that you never make plans that conflict with those Thanksgiving weekend regionals!

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Irish Dance competitions, especially the Oireachtas, takes top priority. Over EVERYTHING!!! (spoken like a true dance mom)!

He asked if I wanted to meet him the following Friday. Friday, December 3rd, 2004. I nervously agreed. It was just easier talking on the phone and emailing than having to get all dressed up, and trying to look “pretty” and worrying how I looked, and did I look too fat…yada yada yada.

We both wanted to keep things casual so we met on somewhat safe and common ground. We met at The Marketplace in Princeton. The Marketplace was a smaller mall, and in that mall were many stores I frequented! (I spent many a rainy summer day there when the kids were young). In addition, I felt comfortable there. I figured if things turned sour, I could always use some retail therapy—and spend money I didn’t have.

I spent a lot of time, and money I didn’t have at this Princeton Mall. It was a safe place for our first meeting!

It was easy to spot Monsieur Bonaparte because, luckily, he looked just like his photo. In fact, he looked very nice. Until I noticed what he was wearing on his feet. A FRENCHMAN wearing TENNIS SHOES???? Yes! I was shocked. As much as I fed into the “anti-French” propaganda, the one thing I did have in common with the French was the disgust of white tennis shoes and/or sneakers. In my most humble opinion, tennis shoes belong on the tennis court and only on the tennis court.   The sneaker thing—only a few types of sneakers get my stamp of approval. Chuck Taylors and old-school Keds. End of story.

Was Bonaparte REALLY French–or was he faux-French. What self-respecting Frenchman would wear these on a DATE????

I become physically upset when I see tourists wearing white tennis shoes/sneakers, heavy ankle sport socks and ill-fitting shorts with t-shirts—especially when I see this kind of attire in a large city. It was bad enough for me to be seen off the courts with someone wearing these hideous shoes!

Those tennis shoes had my red flag at half-mast.

My red flag was at half-mast. Uh Oh!

As Bonaparte was not familiar with the Princeton area, so we took my car and we drove down Route 1 just a bit to grab a bite to eat at The Princetonian Diner.

Best diner in the Princeton area! The burgers and “freedom” fries are delicious!

Bonaparte had his red flag at half-mast upon entering my car—which, by the way he later deemed as the messiest car he had ever been in. I don’t even it being a mess except for a few pieces of sports equipment that belonged to the kids. The car wasn’t that bad. I mean really; he actually thinks he saw papers strewn on the floor!

My oh my. Bonaparte had HIS red flag at half mast after seeing the inside of my little green Cavalier.  Now we were even!

Wait. It gets better. After having a quick bite at the diner, Bonaparte asked me if I wanted to drive across the road to check out furniture at Ethan Allen and Domain. (I thought he was moving a bit fast!). It turned out his daughter was moving into a new place and he wanted to check out furniture for her.

Imagine that! This helicopter mom met her helicopter dad!

Get rid of those red flags. Helicopter Mom has met her true match..

The French version of the Helicopter Dad!!!!

We actually had a pretty good time checking out all that furniture—it seemed that we both had pretty much similar tastes!

Surprisingly, all the sofas and loveseats in our home are white and slipcovered! Who knew?

A stop at Starbucks ended our first “date” *giggle* *giggle*

A delightful end to our first date was a stop at Starbucks!

We have been together since that first date–but there’s more so read on…

Shortly thereafter, Bonaparte administered a “test”, unbeknownst to me. The test was disguised as a movie and dinner date. He was to cook dinner for me after seeing a “surprise” movie.

When I arrived at Bonaparte’s home, he was ready to leave. (*NOTE: Bonaparte is ALWAYS on time. Worse yet, he’s early. I am always late with the exception of doctor’s appointments, air and train travel. That’s it.) I think I may have been a couple of minutes late because he was not smiling. Oh wait. He’s French!

To lighten things up, I asked him “Why do you always wear those white tennis shoes? You’re supposed to be French! I thought the French had better taste in footwear?” “They really are not attractive!” (He didn’t realize I had a “thing” about footwear).

Embarrassed, he took the fugly tennis shoes off and changed into the classy, chic, European loafers, that he should have been wearing in the first place.

He also explained “Ah em so embarrahrrrazzz.” “Ah soughs zhat Americanzzz loved zuh tennis shuz.” “Ah em zoo ‘eppy ow don’ lek zhem.” “Ow ahr lek zuh Fra’shhh. Ow spek ur meen”.

(Translation: “I thought that Americans loved the tennis shoes. I am so happy you don’t like them. You are like the French. You speak your mind.”)

Score one for me!

While on the way to see the movie, he wouldn’t budge when I asked him whatmovie we were seeing. Instead, I hounded him about dinner. He was making roast chicken, French style. He then started talking about the various courses. He explained that we were having , in his words

“Pate and Cornish hen to start” He explained in his heavy accent.

I asked him why we were having Cornish hen before having chicken.

He knew I love a good meal, but Cornish Hen as a starter?  Whoa–I’m not that much of a little piggy!

He was becoming frustrated “Cornish hen..wizz mutar!!!”

Sensing his frustration, I started to laugh and asked why he was getting so upset.

Bonaparte: “Ow no zouz gren zings zhewish pip-ul et?” From zuh bar’rel?”

(Translation: “You know those green things jewish people eat? From the barrel?”)

Me:               “Yeah. You mean pickles??”

Bonaparte: “Oui.” Cornish hen ahr leedul peekuhls”.

Thus, I found out what “cornichon” were! Years later, I still cannot understand everything he says!

This is what the “Cornish hen” was! Oops!

The movie turned out to be “A Very Long Engagement”. A World War I epic of love and the search for a loved one. It starred Audrey Tatou and Gaspar Uliel as the doomed but engaged lovers, Mathilde and Manech. I loved this film. In fact, to this day it remains one of my faves!

I outsmarted Bonaparte! He had no idea I was a fan of French cinema!

This film turned out to be the “test”. Apparently, Bonaparte was unsure of a long-term relationship if I didn’t like French film. What he didn’t realize that I had been a fan of French cinema since my early twenties. Living in Manhattan gave me the opportunity to enjoy many French films. I was especially fond of Francois Truffaut, Louis Malle, Jean Renoir and Eric Rohmer. (Also..Bonaparte’s uncle, Yves Robert! Bonus!!!)

After expressing my disgust at this ridiculous test, I scored another one for me!

I guess the French are just more pragmatic in their relationship thinking! They judge compatibility  by film and food!

We’ve had ups and downs, but mostly ups.  We have fun and enjoy each other and balance each other very well. It’s nice!

I even introduced Bonaparte to selfies!

Bonaparte wasn’t used to divey bars in NYC until he met me! Here we are waiting for my son Roman’s band “Bad Man Yells” to begin playing. My oldest son Jake is with us. This is from 2010!

In Long Island. November 2011 at a family wedding (my side)!

So that’s it. Here’s a link to an article I wrote in “FrenchEntree” about my first attempt at making a nice French dinner for Bonaparte. It started out as a complete disaster but it really is a fun read:

My Dinner for Bonaparte

To keep you in the mood..Le Temps De L’Amour from Francois Hardy! Oh lala! XOXOXOXO

Move Over Josephine! Bonaparte is Mine!!! (The Story of how a New York Girl and Parisian Man Met) BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND. MANY HAVE WONDERED.  MANY HAVE ASKED. HERE YOU GO! A couple of readers are curious as to how Bonaparte and I came to be a couple and I thought it would make for a fun post so here goes!

[ethanalter]

‘Downward Dog’ Creators on Casting a Shelter Dog Alongside ‘Grounded’ Allison Tolman

Ned and Allison Tolman in ABC’s ‘Downward Dog’ (Credit: Bob D’Amico/ABC)

Looking for something both you and your dog can watch together? Starting May 17, viewers and their canine companions can curl up on the couch for Downward Dog, ABC’s new slice-of-life comedy about a newly single woman, Nan (Fargo‘s Allison Tolman) and her chatty pup, Martin (former shelter dog Ned, in his first-ever acting gig). It’s an adaptation of a short web series from Samm Hodges — who provides Martin’s speaking voice — and Michael Killen, who are the creative forces behind the TV show as well. We spoke with the duo about the process of directing a four-legged actor, and why it was so important to them to put a shelter dog front and center in a network series.

You’re juggling two very different perspectives throughout the series. When you were writing each episode, whose storyline would you start with: Nan or Martin’s? Samm Hodges: Well, the original web series was almost completely from Martin’s perspective. We realized that what the web series didn’t capitalize on at all was the fact that this dog has complete access to the most intimate moments of this girl’s life. One of the things Michael and I talked a lot about is that, as humans, we’re the most isolated than we’ve ever been throughout history. We’re getting married later and later, kids are more of an optional thing. So [we thought of Nan] as a woman who was trying very hard to be strong, and to do the things she thought she was supposed to do, but having a lot of crises in her personal life that her dog could be part of. There’s humor in those moments.

Michael Killen: What’s nice, too, is that her world really isn’t that special. It’s not like we chose a dog that belongs to a superhero or the President of the United States. Nan is generally a regular person who has work problems and friend problems. But when you add Martin to the mix, he sees that his version of that world is definitely overdramatized.

Hodges: We would share a lot of stories from our own personal lives in the writers’ room, and when we would start to look at themes, one we saw a lot was loyalty. In one episode, Nan does a disloyal thing in a good way, maybe, and Martin has his own emotional day. So we’d put a lot of story arcs on the board and mix and match to find thematic overlap. A lot of it was finding stories where Martin could mess up Nan’s life; those would work the best. If you watch the pilot, I think you do kind of wonder if the show has enough [story] to sustain it. Now, at the end of the first season, we have so many ideas that we want to do. It’s amazing how many stories there are to tell when you have characters that want the same things, but don’t speak the same language.

Was there any trepidation about working with a canine actor? Killen: I come from a background of dealing with animals, which was one of the key pieces to us putting the web series together — our incredible comfort with knowing exactly what would and wouldn’t work when you have an animal on set. How to manage that, how to script it, to schedule it, and do every single aspect of it. In this case, we’re not asking the animals to do anything super-amazing in concept and in script. You don’t have to toil over something that an animal wouldn’t do. [In some scenes] Martin’s biggest action is to jump off a couch and eat a bowl of food. A lot of dogs could pull that off.

Hodges: I think that Michael does have a gift with animals — it’s kind of a very subtle thing. He had a certain way of thinking about animals that makes them seem very, very natural, and very present. Usually because they want food, I think! It’s really simple. We never pushed the animals beyond where they wanted to go. Sometimes I’d be looking at footage of the dog and he wouldn’t do what we thought he would do, and we’d have to figure out how to write around that. But I think that worked to our advantage in the end.

Ned is the primary canine actor, but were there other dogs that played Martin? Killen: We had a stuffed dog that Ned really hated. Stuffy was its name, and it had to be removed from set before we brought Ned in, because he would attack Stuffy… The big thing that led us to Ned is that he was a shelter dog. The easy choice would have been to get a pedigree dog that could get right out of the litter. You could get triplets and work the specific breed. It meant so much to us to have a dog that was mixed breed, of an anonymous background and definitely a shelter dog. We had to live with the consequences of that, and we’re very patient with Ned.

Watch the original Downward Dog web series below:

That’s something dog lovers should appreciate about the show. The idea of adopting rescue and shelter dogs has become much more popular in recent years. Hodges: As a writer, you’re looking for the blindspots that we have in society, and we talked a lot about how we treat dogs. We consume them like they are products. In the pilot, there’s a scene in an animal shelter that we shot in a real shelter, and being in that shelter was really, really crazy. You walk in this room and there’s all these beautiful animals inside. There’s something really, really wrong in our country with how we treat animals. We want to bring attention to that and say, “Hey, we’re doing something really f**ked up with these creatures that we supposedly love.”

Killen: Ned lived in Mississippi first, and then went to Chicago for a year and a half, and wasn’t adoptable. Samm and I fell in love with his eyes. We couldn’t stop thinking about them, because they’re very human. He wasn’t trained at all, and was a little shy in the pilot. Our trainers, by giving him confidence, got him to the state where he was just wonderful. By the time we shot the rest of the series, he was much bolder in the way he went about it. And now he’s just a wonderful, relaxed dog, and very happy with his life choices.

Obviously, much of the success of the show hinges on who would be cast as Nan. How did you settle on Allison Tolman? Hodges: Michael and I knew that a show that has a talking animal in the lead [alongside] the human lead, [actors] are going to want to make it into this goofy competitive thing. We knew that our only chance of making this feel authentic was to make our human character really grounded. If you watch Allison’s performance, she finds humor between the lines. It’s not about landing good jokes. And because she’s so grounded, it allows Martin to be, well, a talking dog.

Tolman in ‘Downward Dog’ (Photo: ABC)

What do you hope viewers take away from Downward Dog? Hodges: I want people to feel like they matter. Martin is a character that’s always very concerned if he matters or not, and I think that if you show this really narcissistic, flawed dog and his narcissistic, flawed owner, then people will feel kind of accepted as well.

Killen: One thing we accomplished in the web series was entering the world of a dog/owner relationship, but by the end you really get to feel how important this being is to her life. I think we take that into the TV series as well. [Pets] have become significant relationships in our lives. We want to provide proper perspective, not a crazy, goofy perspective. These relationships are, to us, real relationships.

Hodges: Both Nan and Martin really struggle to love themselves; that’s both of their existential crises. I just want people to be nice to themselves. We’re so self-critical as a society. A lot of what Michael and I talked about is that the heart of the show is just how much happier we can be if we just try to be ourselves.

Downward Dog premieres Wednesday, May 17 at 9:30 p.m. on ABC.

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